A
female
age
,
anonymous
writes:I worked hire a man, got him over to this country and after 2 great years started writing him and we have developed a very great friendship. He lives on the other side of the country, and is waiting for his company sponsored green card. I go to see him because until 1 week ago was not divorced and he did not want to visit me because of my kids are here. I have told and showed him how much I care and love him and he is always there, a great friend and treats me like a girlfriend. We have never had sex but have kissed only once which may have been mostly me but there was some effort on his part too. I want him to tell me he cares and wants me more than a friend. He shows this in everything he does, but will not say it even when I sent letters and poems and gifts etc. He has been hurt badly in relationships and thinks he is toxic, will hurt me and no relationship will last so why bother. I have been very supportive and encouraging and have seen him open up and show some feelings and trust too. But he still will not validate my feelings and now that I am divorced, the coast is clear and he is free to move ahead. How do I get him to tell me what he is feeling and stop being just my friend and break through to showing and telling me about how he loves me?thx.
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reader, anonymous, writes (11 May 2010): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThis is a very harsh and abrupt answer. How do you know that he only wants to be a friend? Maybe you never have really loved someone and had them rip your heart out but when people have this happen to them, they do not rush into anything very quickly again. I would say he only wants to be a friend, but he has more than one time hinted at us getting married, been extremely jealous when my husband comes up and does all the things men do to impress a woman from paying for dates, protecting me when bad things happen and the list goes on and on. I know he wants me more than a friend as he is always making me things, sending cards and buying me things. He just is so afraid of getting hurt again and is also afraid he will let me down and has said this many times that he is not good enough for me. So you my dear man need to not draw conclusions like this as this is not a case of a man not wanting more but a man not having the courage to go after it and not knowing how to as he has never been successful in any relationship with any woman.
A
male
reader, Brunel  +, writes (9 May 2010):
My dear lady I hear alarm bells ringing here and you need to sit down, take a deep breath and validate just where we are today.You are putting a whole life time into him and it is pretty clear to me that he is not interested in being any more than a friend to you!You think that everything is going to fall into place in your master plan?'WELL WAKE UP AND FACE TH TRUTH-IT MOST DEFINETLY IS NOT'
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