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female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes: My bf and I have been together for nearly 4 years and we get along really well and have a lot in common. The problem is, even though I love him very much, I've found myself getting increasingly bored with him. I am a social person and thrive on action and going places and meeting new people. He says he does too but we never really do anything, he seems content with spending most of our time at home. I always have to initiate everything (except for sex, which has also become boring and pointless to me to my dismay. Sometimes I wonder if we are meant to be together or if I'm still meant to meet another man who has more of the qualities I am looking for. I think a lot of the problem has to do with us both being unemployed at the moment and still living with our parents. I want us to move out and I am constantly looking for work and trying to map out a future for us but I feel like he hasn't really grown up and is not ambitious enough to make things happen. I'm sick of being the "man" in this relationship and trying to make everything happen myself! How do I get him to do more and how do I spice up this relationship? Do I deserve better?
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female
reader, Oregongrl1  +, writes (10 August 2010):
Welcome to the girls club! after a few yrs it fizzes not that you stop loving one another you just end up settling in and it becoming a routine! and it's all so normal! so what i do is my own thing i have adapted to it i hang w/ the girls or just me time! and at the end of the day him and i meet in the middle and we have dinner together and talk about things watch tv hang out, its not bad because i know we are there for each other mentally and phyiscally and to me thats all good! he will come home sometimes and will see iam tired and he'll say you wanna go out to eat he's still respectful and a wonderful man, to me. so if i choose staying w/ him and feeling like our relationship is boring i just stop and regroup and know he would do anything for me and i know what hes thinking and doing all the time you know what i mean (trust) dont gotta worry! so will grow old together lose our teeth our hearing, eye sight and call each other ma,pa but it will all be gracefully and in the good name of the lord! amen.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (10 August 2010): Your bf is not resp. for insuring that you never get bored in your life...if you find that your life is dull, then bring a little excitment and positive drama ON YOUR OWN. Being unemployed is probably another factor as you don't have the funds to do what you like. In addition, your boyfriend should want to do more than just sit at home for fun...is this due to him being unemployed too?
What you need to do is stop doing so much...allow him to be the man...allow him to inti. things in the relationship instead of you doing so all the time. Focus on your life, if you want to have fun, get out and do it on your own without him, and maybe once he sees this....sees you happy, non-chalant, living life the the fullest, maybe he will cut out this lazy act.
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