A
male
age
41-50,
*h8782
writes:I'm 29 and was with my girlfriend for 7 years. We lived together for two years and fell out, and split up. My girlfriend moved 150 miles and in the mean time, we've continued to see each other for the occasional weekends, but it didn't feel we were entirely together, but I needed to make a decision. In the mean time, I met another woman and went on a few dates, where we've got close.However, I've not been honest with either. The new person I'm seeing thinks I've split up entirely. My ex girlfriend, who wants to get back with me, thinks we may have a future. I need to properly end it with my ex, but for some reason I can't seem to either do it, or really be sure. I can rationalise why it didn't work, but I'm too cowardly to end it (perhaps because we still have feelings)I have two questions1) Why can't I seem to split up with my (kind of) ex?2) How should I end it?
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female
reader, janniepeg  +, writes (22 February 2010):
 Unless you will move 150 miles to be with her, or she comes back to your city, there is no future for you two. Depends on the reason for the move, either it's a job or a college, it's only temporary. But if she moved with the pure mindset of needing a break from you, then that's another story. You can't split up because the truth is that you want to be with the new woman but don't want to deal with the hassle of breaking up. How could you tell her that? It is normal to have feelings for an ex even if you know you two won't work out. Just simply tell her an LDR is not for you. It's not going to work. No need to tell her about the new woman. I once broke it off with a trucker (long haul)just because I don't see him enough and don't know when he'll become a city driver. He's persistent but I was firm. That's all you need.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (22 February 2010): You obviously still have feelings for your ex, but try to think about how these two girls would feel if they knew you were with them both and unsure who you should pick. Try to make your decision fast, but try to be sensitive about it. Either way someone is getting hurt, but you can lessen the pain, just give solid reasons for why you don't think it would work out. You seem to have mixed feelings toward your ex and if you and her were really going to work out, it probably would have the first time. You may not want to hurt your ex by breaking up with her, but you need to let her go so she can find someone who really cares about her.
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