A
female
age
30-35,
*eather016
writes:i love my ex very much and i havent give up on him. i didnt want to break up with him but i had to. it has just beenn a month and he's telling me he realllyyy likes this girl. and he says he's very happy with her and she understands him more. he says she understands him more cz they're very much alike. but he begs me not to walk away from his life because i m important to him. but he says, i m just a friend to him. nothing hurts more when he tells me she understands him more. i cant deal with this. i love him but it just hurts me whenever i talk to him. but he wants me in his life.. what should i do???
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reader, anonymous, writes (5 February 2009): First of all, I do hear this a lot, but I have never understood it at all. Anytime I have broken up with a boyfriend or vis-versa, calling each other up and telling each other about the new people we are seeing is just something that has never happened with me. I mean it does not really matter who broke up with who or why, obviously one or the other or both needed to move on. I am not by any means saying that this is easy especially for the one who may not have wanted the relationship to come to an end. Why on earth would your ex be so cruel to you to call you and tell you these things? Is it you calling him? If that is the case, then I think you do need to realize that he probably is not telling you these things to be cruel, you are probably calling him during times that he is with his new girlfriend which I am sure is causing him all kinds of problems. He probably would like for you to just stop and leave him alone. He probably feels bad about having to be so harsh with you, just to get you to take a hint so he tells you that he still wants to be friends. By that he probably means, if you have a catastrophic emergency and you have called every single person that you know, plus you have check with the neighbors and also tried waving down cars and you still have not been able to find anyone to help you out, then by all means give me a call with the understanding that I will be showing up to help you with my new girlfriend who will be overly kind to you and make you feel even worst then you do right now. Get it? Some times it is a hard reality to face and I am not trying to be mean neither, but you do have to move on and let him go. If you are thinking that if you keep calling him off the hook until she gets so fed up, she will leave him, you are wrong. He will just get more and more harsh with you and eventually she will block your number from his phone with his blessing. If you did break them up, do you really think this would make him happy or want you any more then he does right now? Maybe if you just move on and stop calling him then he will miss you and realize that perhaps he did make a mistake. Good Luck.
A
female
reader, smeedle  +, writes (5 February 2009):
 Time to move on, some people can stay friends with there ex and im still friends with one of mine, but its clear that this is not the case for you, you love him still and the hurt is raw.
He thinks you have moved on emotionally like he has, some men and women can finish one relationship and jump straight into another and stop being in love with last partner and fall in love with new partner (if any of it was really love !!).
You on the other hand were probably very deeply in love with him and so to stay mates would tear you apart and make life for you a living hell as he would tell you all about new woman in his life as he does not connect that it hurts.
Cut him out of your life, he had his chance and blew it, move on and dont look back, you need to get this bloke out of your head as he just does not love you or want you in the same way anymore.
Harsh words but real words.
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