A
male
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:Hi , rather unfortunately this is happening more often now days....two people meet, things are great at start, after few months of knowing each other responsibilities kicks in, some other reality of life comes out, then suddenly they start arguing, fighting all the time, other party always think he or she is always right, they both gets fed up of the situation even after two years of being together and then they break up. That stage is hard very hard, that happen to me and I started thinking could I have done things differently ? or lots of if and but!, she decided to move on, but not even told me this relationship is over!! It is like she wants to keep me hanging in there while she is tasting the water for other fish!!I find it so hard to accept the fact this is really happening to me but it is, I say to myself what have I done to deserve this treatment, no cheating, no nothing but loving this person. All I did was just express my thoughts which wasn’t in line with hers, and she wanted to do things her way all the time, without any consideration for me and my needsNow the question for me is:Does it really worth going back? Is it worth saving this relationship which was full of arguments and lack of communications? I know that I loved her and I still kind of have feeling for her, but what do these feelings inside me mean, which are so strong but at the same time I have doubt about me and her being together! Love hasn’t changed to hate but because of arguments it is never the same as before, she broke certain boundaries and she started it, and I put up with it for so long and then I explode and start answering back.I think she is now seeing someone, (but not sure yet) she is trying to play it cool, and knowing her I know she will move on easy as she probably has done this before, but for me it is hard.I know she will never admit to her mistakes and I know she just want me to say I am sorry it was all my fault and all that etc, for her to may be consider having me back, but I also have my pride, if I do wrong I do admit it and say it openly, but can’t tolerate selfishness, and unfairness.Should I even try to make this work? How do I deal and speak to a person who is so unfair and only see things from her side?Thanks
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (11 February 2007): Dear Anon,
Reading between the lines it sounds as if you feel you have no blame for the breakup. Why then do you feel your g/f would like you to say sorry! Surely it takes two to make or break a relationship. An argument only happens when one person sees something differently from the other.
How hard would it be to say sorry, and see what happens. It is all to easy to give up rather than to work at building a lasting relationship. Remember "pride comes before a fall" and love means always being ready to say, sorry.
A
female
reader, Jovial  +, writes (8 February 2007):
 Dear anon
i am so sorry things are or didnt work out the way you wanted, but life itself is full of opportunities. you have met a wrong woman for you, you arent suitable for each other i dont mean to upset you even further but couple are suppose to complement each others characters. you believe in talking things out, being responsible for your actions etc and she lives a carefree life and doesnt feel like she need you in her life so it is indeed a bad combination. if you were comptible you were gonna believe in what you believe in and she was gonna continue her carefree life but she was gonna need you to complement what she lacks and what you lack. like you said she doesnt love and respect you the way you should be loved.
dont despair let her move on if that is what she want just dont let her control your life and keep on hurting you, you deserve so much better. yes you did nothing wrong but in life sometimes those who did nothing wrong are the ones who suffers the most, or are just not appreciated and this is because life is never fair.
relationships come and go and this one is on its way out, so dont let her keep you because someone is out there waiting to love you the way you deserve to be loved.
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