A
male
age
51-59,
*illiam101067
writes:My fiance has two boys and we have recently moved in with her mother because my fiance's father recently passed away. The grandmother has asked the two boys not to download anything on her computer. I have had many arguments with them over this because they keep doing something they were asked not to do. Two days ago i caught them, i told them that her computer was off limits from now on. yesterday, the 13 yr old got on the pc, when i confronted him he got verbally nasty with me, then her 15 year old told his mother he was not going to school today because he has a big race on Sat. in which is local. So then he starts talking to his mother like a dog and very disrespectful so she tries to take his phone away. At this point, my fiance' is trying to make her boys understand respect, and her mother jumps in and tells the mom, give him his cell phone back. I explained to my fiance' that i am 40 years old, and i feel she is going to end up hating me or be very resentful because every single nite, they verbally abuse her, don't mind her at all, and it really upsets me and i end up saying something to her boys. When it comes to children in a relationship, this can become a wedge because of "they are my kids or not yours" and I will allow them to do or say what they want and you are not their father and then it breaks down the relationship or the marriage. Their real father don't spoil them, nor does he allow them to be lazy, or be childish so they abuse mom. I am at my wits end and don't know what to do. Do I leave now, or do i make a stand for someone I truely love with all my heart and stand up for her to her boys or what. The boys father will not help her when it comes to punishing the boys, so she is all alone. The grandmother is just making things worse by butting in. She makes it so that her own grandkids disrespect her daughter. Please give me some advise. Today My son who spent the nite said he is tired of their attitudes and is starting to not want to come back over and he is 16 yrs old and is very respectfull and courteous.
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reader, anonymous, writes (26 October 2007): I know exactly what you mean! This is a very hard situation but if you love your partner you have to stay (to a point). If now, then run like hell. You can only advise. Have a word with her and just say it is killing you to watch these disrespectful kids any more. Ask her to have a word with her mom and get her to butt out. She shouldnt be having so much say. Let your partner know that you are their for her, but only to a point. If things dont get better over a period of time then i am afraid it is up to you to decide if you want to live like this. Remember life is way too short and you deserve better. I know what you mean though, i have experienced this in the past. Stick in there for as long as you can, but not forever!!
take carexx
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