A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:Hi everyone.. i just need some advice. for the last year i have been seeing a lovely man. in this year he's went into great detail about his sex life with previous partners, telling me about how he made this and that happen for these girls and telling me their every flaw. it's made me feel really insecure if i'm honest. in this last year i have lost quite a bit of weight and am feeling good for it but i feel like i can't walk about in just my underwear infront of him.. if he's busy telling me about his ex' flaws, he'll be scrutinizing every part of my body for flaws! (maybe this is all in my head) anyway.. he's very secretive with his phone and after a heated argument he admits that previous partners text him now and again and he's 'embarassed' about it.. i find this odd?? then he pulls up his outgoing calls and it's all this one girl and when we argued last week he calls me by her name!! i just don't know what to think. now i'm thinking is this guy messing me around? i feel so insecure and a bit jealous if i'm honest and i don't know why i feel like this... is it because he talked about previous sexual encounters in such great detail and so often? and it's not as if he's my 1st partner.. i've had a few. also wouldn't tell anyone about me apart from work friends until recently! i've never felt like this in a relationship and it's really getting me down. i'm starting to resent myself for being the way i'm being.... i'm being moody quite a lot with him. i've tried to talk to him but all he says is 'i'll fight for u, i'm sorry, i'll make it better'. i just don't know what to do any more :( i'm 24 and he's 37...this is the way i'd expect a young boy to behave.. not a supposed mature man. how can i stop myself getting jealous or feeling insecure? sorry if this is all over the place i'm just on a roll trying to explain it all at once and get my point across lol thank you all x
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (17 March 2012): Thank u ladies... Yea he thinks taking me out for the day and buying me gifts is going to buy me over. I've told him how I feel. I think I know deep down this is the end of the road for us
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (15 March 2012): I don't think this is a healthy relationship for you. I think yes, part of it is him, since he's making statements he shouldn't be making. If he cared about you, he wouldn't be talking about his ex-gfs or calling them or calling you by the incorrect name. He's definitely doing things that call for alarm.
I think you also need to learn to trust in yourself and be strong by yourself, without worrying about what this guy will say about you.
Again, it's very unhealthy. You don't need to be with someone whose behavior triggers jealousy and insecurity.
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A
female
reader, Honeygirl  +, writes (15 March 2012):
 Sorry Hunni, but this man is not "a lovely man" - he is a player, and quite possibly is cheating on you.
When he tells you about his sexual prowess with other women what is expecting??? Perhaps he sees you as 'one of the guys' and by discussing his sex life makes him look like a stud....
The other thing of note is the secrecy with his mobile and the other women messaging him..... To me this is a huge red flag.
"i've tried to talk to him but all he says is 'i'll fight for u, i'm sorry, i'll make it better'"
Does he ever try and make things better, no I suspect he is so in-love with himself and his image that there isnt much space for you.
You need to seriously think about whether you want to be in a relationship like this.
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