A
male
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:My previous relationship lasted a year and a half and near the end her friends were constantly telling her to get rid of me because they were jealous of how much time I spent with her. She also hated me spending time with my friends because they were mostly girls, and I wasn't going to stop seeing them. Eventually we broke up because of these reasons. Now I have a new girlfriend but I'm scared every time she goes out with her friends because I'm scared they'll try to get her to leave me. Every time she mentions going with them or going to a party or anything my stomach drops. I feel like I'm going to be sick and I hate the thought of her being out with other people. I trust her very much but for some reason everything she tells me seems untrue. I constantly find myself asking her if she's lying and she's always telling me the truth. I just can't help being paranoid. Sometimes I wish I could tell her not to go places, and even if I know it's a really bad idea to go, I can never tell her not to because I don't want to be that super controlling boyfriend. It didn't really bother her before but now I can tell she's getting tired of it. What can I do to help trust her and stop worrying about her? If I don't do something soon I'm scared I'm going to lose her and I just can't afford that. I would really do anything to change for her.
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female
reader, AshB0  +, writes (10 June 2009):
My sister broke up with her boyfriend for this exacpt reason.If you dont give her space you are going to lose her. You know shes telling you the truth. Is the only reason you dont like her going out is because of her friends? Or is there more to it?Ask her what they think of you. Even though you say you trust her, to me it doesnt sound like you do. Have a talk to her.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (10 June 2009): Give her the space and love a woman needs.. i did the same thing and I am currently losing the most important person in my life. If you really love her, try to give her what she wants, but let her know that you want to be the most important thing in her life, not her friends. Makse sure she doesnt make you wait to see her only when she has time away from them.
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