A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:I "dated" this guy for a year before we broke up. We met online and during that year I never fully trusted him. I always felt like something was wrong or off in some way, that he wasn't telling me everything. I mean, I never met his friends, I don't even know if he has any, or family for that matter. He's lived at his apartment for years and it's not furnished. There's no pictures, no decorations, not even a sofa. It just felt so wrong so I treated the relationship as if he was a friend and nothing more. I never allowed him to touch me, not even to hold my hand. I would shake his hand off if he ever touched me. I honestly can't even tell you why it dragged on for a year when my gut told me something was wrong except that I just got out of a relationship and was lonely. I felt like he was better than having no one. Big mistake. One that I will never make again. But one day, I decided to google him, something I've never done before and discovered that he was indeed lying to me about his age. He is much much much older than what he told me. I am in my early 20's, he's in his late 30's. He told me he was in his late 20's. Don't ask how i can't tell the difference between 29 and 39. But that did it. I confronted him and he confessed and I had enough and ended things. I thought that was it. But now, every week or weeks, maybe once a month, he'll write to me. It's so creepy because in his emails he pretends nothing is wrong and acts like we're just having a normal conversation continued from before i caught him lying. I've told him i don't want to talk to him, that I want to be left alone and he doesn't get it. He won't stop. The weird thing is he thinks the reason why i don't want to talk to him is because i'm not over him, not because he lied to me. He seems to have completely forgot that he lied. And it should have been obvious from my behavior when we were "together" that I didn't like him (i never let him touch me). PS, i will never try online dating again. I met a creep that i can't get rid of. I'm so afraid he's just going to show up at my door or have me stalked or something. What can I do to make him stop? Please please please help me
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broke up, met online, my ex, stalking Reply to this Question
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female
reader, wonder01ful +, writes (30 December 2011):
I agree, block him online. Tell at least two of your family or close friends who care about you about this situation and let them know you're afraid he'll show up at your door unannounced. A long time ago I dated a guy who lied like the guy you're talking about. I figured out that he has antisocial personality disorder, and when I figured it out, I was very scared that he'd show up at my front door with a gun (he had a gun in his car's glovebox). I can tell how scared you are from your post. Just take precautions, keep doors and windows locked, don't open the door unless you know who it is. Hopefully he'll find someone else to con and he'll forget all about you, which is exactly what you want.
A
female
reader, So_Very_Confused +, writes (28 December 2011):
 block his email address... and his phone number
block him on face book and any other social media you share with him.
problem solved.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (27 December 2011): I think the best thing for you to do, since he hasn't taken any notice of your request to cut contact, is to block his email address so you won't receive messages from him anymore. Consider changing your number if he has it, and let a relative and/or trusted friend know what's going on if you haven't done so already. From what you're written he doesn't sound like a dangerous man, just a deluded one, but you can never be too careful in this day and age. With any luck he'll lose interest in time when he gets no response whatsoever from you, but if you feel you have real reason for concern, you can always have a word in confidence with someone at your local police department. I think that this man is more of a nuisance than anything else, but it might make you feel better to know that the authorities can keep an eye out for you.If there's anything to be learned from this experience (as it appears you already have done!), it's that you should always go with your gut. Of course it's your choice if you never try online dating again, but try not to let one bad experience put you off something which could be equally beneficial - and here I'm referring to all things in life. You seem to have a stong intuition, so never forget to use it. It's there to protect you, and often does a better job of that than any other human being could :) Good luck and take care x
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