A
female
age
26-29,
anonymous
writes:How can I tell my partner how I feel or that I have found out things he has been doing , without destroying our relationship? I've been with my boyfriend for 9 months now and I was seeing him for about 2 months previous to that. We started meeting up and slept together and I wanted more from it than just sex..I didn't tell him that. 4 or 5 weeks later he told me that he thinks he has fallen in love with me and after a while we got together. I then found out that he had slept with 113 people precious. I get so jealous over other women or when he talks about his past when he's slept with others, I hate it, I feel like I hate the girls I see on his social networking that he has slept with and I don't even know them. I get jealous when they like his photos or his status's. He is 24 and I'm 18, but very mature for my age. We both have children. When we argue, which happens over the silliest of things he will always split up with me and eventually we get back together, recently it's happened so much that I think if it happens anymore that it will be the end of us. I don't want that. I love him more than I've loved anybody and the thought of him being with another woman or being without me breaks my heart. We argue and as soon as he says we are finished I say how sorry I am and how much I'll try and change , although it isn't always my fault I'm always the one saying sorry and making our relationship work. My partner is very strong minded and stubborn, he does many things wrong but won't admit to them and if I point them out he goes mad. I trust him more than ever and I don't believe he would cheat on me, however.. In the past he's kept naked photos of other girls on his phone and I made him remove them when I seen them on his phone. Just yesterday I had a little snoop at his photos on his computer and found a picture of a girls boobs in her bra, the photo was dated back to 2013 but the last time I looked at his photos he had about 500 on there and I don't remember seeing this one. When I looked at his photos yesterday he only had 10 on his computer and that photo was one of them. I want to ask him why it were on the computer and why he needs it if he has me but I'm too scared he will say I don't trust him and he can't trust me, although I do trust him it was just a little look. I'm scared he will get angry and leave me but I want to know why the photo was on there!:( Another thing is he is saying he wants to move out of his home with his mum and move in with his friends , which I don't trust because they try and sway him towards other women on a night out clubbing. I asked him to move in with me and he won't :( I don't know why. Sometimes I'm to scared to say how I feel or if I've found something out I need to pull him up on because I'm scared he will flip and finish it because he gets so angry so easy. When we argue he says stuff like he's not happy anymore and that he wants time apart and don't want me anymore and as soon as we're back together he's all lovely again.I used to see him nearly every day of the week when we first got together but now I see him once a week, if that! He says it's because my little boy keeps him up in the night but why was he putting up with it for so long before and suddenly changes and hardly see's me anymore. It feels sometimes like he makes excuses not to see me. I confronted him and asked why things dramatically changed and his response was "things just change Saff" and I don't know how to take that. Am I doing anything wrong? Is it me and not him? I really want us to work, I want to spend the rest of my life with him , when things are good they are amazing! I love him more than anything and the last thing I want to do is loose him. Please help!!!
View related questions:
boobs, clubbing, get back together, jealous, split up Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, 02DuszJ +, writes (8 November 2015):
 Seriously?? You can't be serious... 24?? What ADULT says he loves you one minute, while saying he's leaving and taking it all back after the smallest tiff... This guy is:
A. A massive man child that throws a strop when he doesn't get his way, refuses to listen to anything other than his own voice- someone that's "strong minded" usually has drive to actually commit to things... Leave him to play around with his real life Barbies under his mummy's roof... Brings me onto point B...
-Like sage old guy aid, a MASSIVE man whore- Over 500 naked pictures f other women?? Over 113 sexual partners, who were NOT loving relationships- how would he even have time by 24?? He's a dirty rat that can't keep it in his pants. BOTTOM LINE.
He goes psycho and explodes for precious little! He doesn't care how bad he makes you feel, and even probably TRIES to transfer blame onto you for all the crap he does, to make himself feel that tiny bit better... Even though he doesn't seem to have much of a conscience...
Come one, WAKE UP! Even if you can bring yourself to "love" this rat, it doesn't go two ways... Therefore this can never be the relationship you want. He's not relationship material, for the above reasons, and he actually matured 1000 degrees, and managed to love someone, you don't treat them like that...
You have a kid... You need to take more responsibility in surrounding her with good- natured trustworthy people.
This guy isn't a catch... He's not cool or powerful, just because he has so little shame in treating others badly, and doing what he wants, with whoever he wants... So wake up and realise that... He's not a real man, he's a controlling little pr*ck that takes pride in the fact he doesn't care what the consequences of his actions are, or who he hurts, though he may think he's the "hard" man... O yeah and he still lives with mummy... Nothing wrong with that these days. With the credit crunch, but he's no hot shot lol...
Be STRONG. For you and your daughter- whatever feeling or attachment you have to him is a WASTE of your emotions. It's time to DUMP him... I prey that you will see what he really is for your sake as well as your daughter's. Do it quickly and cleanly- means CUTTING contact, telling your loved ones to help you stay strong and keep him away, BEFORE he traps you into some horrible situation like an unplanned pregnancy- I'm guessing he probably expects you to skip condoms for his OWN pleasure right?
Find your self respect and your self worth... It's more than what you think it is at the moment... And put your child at number one priority.
Good luck x
A
male
reader, Sageoldguy1465  +, writes (8 November 2015):
 I suspect that your sub-conscious self KNOWS that this character is a serious man-whore.... and you prefer NOT to dismiss his sorry a$$..... no matter how much that is the correct thing to do..
113 "others"????? How long will it be before YOU become one of those "others" who he will reveal to his NEXT conquest????
Good luck...
...............................
|
