A
male
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:I'm 27, have Asperger's syndrome, do some voluntary work with disabled adults, and voluntary IT work for a living, and live in the United Kingdom.However, my problem is in regard to dating; for me it's hard to get a girlfriend.Maybe it's because of my own ethics; I know in some places it's forbidden in work but in others it isn't, I'm not really sure how to ask about it, as it's a bit of a sensitive subject - not exactly scheduling meetings or what research needs to be done for those meetings.(that's the other kind of sensitive, i.e. confidential). Dating in work is a fairly controversial subject.I don't think its wrong that I have some sort of professional code of ethics. I do have ethics and standards, which I suppose is rare amongst people of my age - not generalising, but given that we're in the "social media" generation.As it is, I can compliment women but it feels a bit forced, even though I know it's what I genuinely think, and I try and avoid sounding creepy. I prefer to date older women, but want to avoid single parents etc. and find someone who's compatibleI can't really talk to women my own age well, but older women (30+) I have less problem with - is it due to the fact I can relate to the things they talk about even though I wasn't born then?The problem is, where can I meet people? I won't use social networking due to its scam/spammer potential, and dating sites are obviously out for the same reason.If people ask if I'm on Facebook etc. I just say no, give them my email, at least with email it's easier than that, less of the problems with social networking etc.My interests are cars/automobiles, computing/IT, history, geography, travel etc. but I find it hard to meet a woman who likes similar things to me - doesn't have to be the same, but enough to be compatible, and whenever I do meet them (not that often), they live too far away from me!! (one lived 40 miles, and that was like 2-3 years ago!)I'm wondering how to become better at dating since I've never actually dated a girl; only really come close, and not got anywhere.My apologies if this sounds long-winded, but I would appreciate the help.AN Other (name withheld for privacy reasons)
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
reader, anonymous, writes (2 August 2015): I take it you have always been single?
A
female
reader, Euphoric29  +, writes (19 July 2013):
Dear OP,
You asked where you can meet people.
So, I would recommend that you can follow your interests and meet new people at the same time. Some suggestions:
1) Online dating (I know you don't want to because of security reasons, but I actually think it's a good place to meet people. And I think dating sites where you pay are more safe)
2) Traveling and working, e.g. volunteering somewhere else where it's ethically okay to date your co-workers
3) language course
4) organised hiking tour, sailing camp, windsurfing course.. any sport that is out in nature and suits your interest for geography
5) Museum
6) dance class (not listed as one of your interests, but you have a 100% guarantee of meeting women)
Another thing: Love is precious and rare. So, if somebody that you like lives 40 miles away, why give up on it? If you're too much into comfort and not changing any of your plans, you might miss out on someone great. My roommate lives 150 miles from her boyfriend and they see each other every weekend. Yes, that means at least 6 hrs of train ride every weekend for one of them, but it's worth it to them.
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A
female
reader, MsSadie  +, writes (18 July 2013):
 Have you gone through university already?
I've found that a great way to meet date potentials is by taking classes. It doesn't even have to be matriculated classes. Here in the US there are all kinds of workshops, noncredit classes, and quick certifications that you can take at any age.
I met one of my flings in a woodworking class, and last summer I met a very nice man as I took a class to become CELTA certified.
So, are there any classes you can think of that you may like to try?
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