A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Hey, i'm new to this. I think I know what I have to do, but getting a random person's input seems more fair. So me and this guy have been seeing each other on and off for almost two years. He was my first ..and I was ..(he doesn't know what number I am). In the beginning it was just a sexual thing. Eventually I started having other sexual partners. As time went on I started to like him a bit, but it wasn't anything serious. Until I found out that he had also felt the same way. More time went by and my feeling got deeper. One day I decided to tell him how I felt and he told me he liked me alot..but he didn't say "I love you". I was a bit embarassed that I put myself out there, but I pushed it aside. Once again as time went by we stated saying the "I love you's", as if we were an actual couple. I love this man, and I know he loves me too. One day I came to find out that he still speaks to his ex every now and then. He told me this which was no problem to me. Its just the fact that I had to ask, and read between the lines a bit. I was heartbroken when he told me that they once were serious, and ended because of her cheating. He also told me that before we even met they decided to take time off and see if they'd find another love. And it just so happens we met. I'm usually the type to let things go, but this I couldn't let go. He's my first love. I really love him. I told him how I felt about it. and he just kept telling me not to worry about it, and I could be the girl that could make him not go back. That response got me so upset! Like what am I? Just that girl that just helped you waist time..till it was time for you guys to get back together? That happened a few months ago. Well now I think about it evey now and then, but not as much. He knows that I don't want him to go anywhere, and we've actually had a convo of having a future together..kids and everything. I want to be with him in a serious commited relationship, but I don't want to force him into it. Would that be a wrong thing to do? I know i'm young..but I also know what I want. And...it's him!
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reader, anonymous, writes (27 July 2010): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionthanks for the advice, so I wouldn't look like a total idiot going after him?
A
female
reader, neadie winters  +, writes (27 July 2010):
ok i feel for you i really do i think men are selfish but don't mean to be thier not very good with there emotions.
yes you love him and he says he really likes you but your not a door mat im sorry honey but your not but you have to show him that i mean you could ben over backwards for him but he wouldn't be given you 100%. he loves his ex when he was with her adn still does regardless of whos she slept andhe was just feeling so hurt and then this bright sprak came into his life and healed slowly but surly now he thinks he can face her again. this is going to be hard to do but you need to tell him you loved him always will love him but bottom line you can't wait around for someonfe who's thinking of his ex. then walk out give it a week let him decide what he wants.
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