A
male
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:Hi guys,My small dilemma is that I've been seeing a woman for 6months. About 3 months ago we both sat down and said because we have both only been out of a relationship for 9-12 months that we wouldn't commit to anything and we've essentially been friends with benefits for the rest of the time.She got divorced this year after 12 years and I didnt think she would appreciate the pressure of another relationship so soon but I now feel that I want to move things forward without changing too much so it still feels relaxed.Seriously, how do I approach this without risking losing her completely?Any responses will be appreciated!
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (15 December 2011): Thanks for those quick answers!
I kind of knew both of those responses to be honest!
I know that she likes me as we always do something together whenever we are both free. I think I just needed some impartial views!
Thanks again.
A
female
reader, chigirl  +, writes (15 December 2011):
 I think in all likelihood, she feels the same way about this now as she did 3 months ago. 3 months isn't that long, when you think of it, even if it feels long when you're hopelessly in love and can't get what you want. Be patient. Maybe she'll come around in another 3 months. You could set yourself a deadline, that you will ask her again about your relationship in another 3 months, then it'd be 6 months since the first conversation, which should be enough time to have figured out how she feels about you and what you and her have.
If she in another 3 months doesn't feel like taking it a step further, back out. And try to prevent yourself from getting too close to her in this time, make sure you keep a distance. Don't act like a boyfriend just yet, don't treat her like a girlfriend just yet, keep your distance. Otherwise you will just get hurt.
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A
female
reader, Starlights +, writes (15 December 2011):
 In my opinion 3 months ago was not exactly a long time ago to have a discussion on your relationship.
The possibility that your friend still may NOT be ready to commit to you is still there. She still may not feel the same way as you.
If you're friends I am sure she would appreciate your honesty and sincerity.
I'd give it a go and explain to her that your true feelings have grown.
See what she responds with!
However, do be very prepared that she may not feel the same way as she's recently just divorced and may need a breather. If she does not feel the same way do not allow the rejection to come between your friendship.
I hope it works out for you AND
Goodluck!
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