A
female
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*ine
writes:i haven't been seeing my boyfriend for 9 months now because he cheated on me twice and we felt that when we got back the second time that things were just not working out so we parted and he started going out with this girl he cheated on me with.Well they moved in with each other so quick and are still together now. I have never hated him for anything that he has done on me but for some reason i hate her - i suppose its because she knew that i was going out with him when he went out with her. Anyway it has taken me these past 9 months to get over him and i do admitt that we have also slept together 3 times in these past 9 months. Each time has left me confused about what way i feel about him and then i decided that i thought it was time that we cut all contact with each other and he said that he was unhappy about this. I sort of got the feeling that he wanted to keep me hanging in case things didnt work out between him and this new girl of his. So i just ignored him and left it at that.Well the other night i got a rap at my door at 4 in the morning and there i found him and his new girl standing at my door both really upset. At first i was really annoyed at him for havng brought her to my door because i thought he had such a cheek, then when he explained that a gang of lads were after him and were going to kill him i let them both in. I remained completely civilised with her and tried to calm them both down. He came crying to me and hugging me saying that he was scared and he needed a place to stay for the night but i felt that i couldnt have let them both sleep in the house that me and him had once lived in together so i said no and that they could only stay for a while.She kept saying that she wanted to go home and he really wasnt wanting to but i phoned her a taxi and at that time she was going home on her own until she persuaded him to go home with her. Whenever she walked out the door he was hugging me holding me tight telling me that he wanted to stay but i told him that it would be best if he just went home so he did.When they left i felt so distraught. Why did he come to my door after all this time?? He has a lot of family and a house of his own (and the gang dont know where he lives), why didnt he just go there?? I am really happy with my life at the minute and have got used to living on my own and am really enjoying single life, now he has showed up all of a sudden, yet again, and knocked me for six... how exactly do i act around him? Do i be sympathetic towards him? or will i just ignore him again like i usually do??
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male
reader, Lostandalone  +, writes (12 September 2006):
 Hi tine. This question is fairly long and as I was approving it, I found it to be very interesting. Its obvious that he still looks for you for that dependable comfort that he has always found with you. I think that his body is with her but his heart is with you. Hard pill to swallow as how you are trying to get over him right now. I suggest you keep doing what you are doing. If it aint broke than don't fix it. You are getting on with your life and you don't seem to want a reconciliation so it seems he is just what he is YOUR EX. Nothing more or less. Just be cordial when you see eachother and if you don't want to be bothered with his drama just say so and hopefully he will get the message. Don't hinder your healing by letting him control your feelings. If you do its no longer his fault you are in pain but your own. Good Luck.
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