A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:Hi there, need some help! I have low self esteem and I have just found out my boyfriend has been looking at half naked girls on the internet through his phone.I am totally annoyed at this n feel abit angry. Is this wrong? I don't want to say anything to him as I don't want to cause an argurment and I know he will have some excuse for it as its not the first time this has happened. How do I get passed and accept that he is with me and that I shouldn't be jealous or angry??
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jealous, self esteem, the internet Reply to this Question
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male
reader, Daveeeeeee  +, writes (12 February 2010):
 Personally I dont get off on Porn , although I do like magazines showing " homegirls " etc , I enjoy going though those and exploring the sexual power of women , these are very basic naked shots ..no legs spread etc .
But its true most guys love porn ..nearly all my friends do , just be happy that he is only masturbating to this ..Its just no big deal . Guys want multiple women , Women try and control and create what they percieve as " emotional stability " ..But you are trying to fight nature , It simply doesn't work .
Just make sure you keep your mans Sack completely empty , dont carry on about rubbish like this and make sure your body is in the best shapre possible .
Then maybe watch some porn yourself , or do a little lap dancing ..Its just sexual outlet , Its incredible you have a problem with it .
A
reader, anonymous, writes (30 December 2009): I disagree with the last thread. Not all men view porn. None of the wonderful men in my family do. That is not true at all! My husband did not nor would I tolerate it at all. As women, we need to stand up for ourselves and put our foot down. Your thread bothers me tremendously as you are blaming the girl for her boyfriends bad habit. That is wrong!!
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (29 December 2009): Please do hurt yourself. That is enough of a red flag for me that this guy is not right for you. First, why should you get over it. He is doing something down wrong and direspectful and not all guys do this. Secondly, girls need to know these girls do not look like this without heavy makeup, surgery, extensions, and some editing. I do think you should consider leaving if he does not stop. You are saying you think about hurting yourself, that is not a healthy sign. PLease talk with him today. Do not ever hurt yourself!!!!
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (29 December 2009): Why do you have low/no self esteem ?? Do you let your BF look at you naked, 1/2 naked or whatever ??
So,, what type of male movie stars "lights your fire?" when at the movies or talking to your GF's about which ever guy?? Don't say you've never fantisied over some male movie star, no one would believe you.
Fantasy is just fantasy nothing more. There are only 2 species male and female, period. Many many times males look at naked women about the same as women look at new shoes or clothes. "they're really cute, but not worth the price, wouldn't fit right, or never have anywhere to wear them."
So, really no different than women going "window shopping" with zero intention of buying anything.
IF you had 1/2 a chance to see your favorite male actor naked you'd stare. And,, it wouldn't mean a thing to your boyfriend.
It's just bodies and everyone's naked, some just wear clothes. You aren't only attracted to your BF just cause he looks good naked are you? I doubt he's only attracted to you because you look good naked. It's the "whole package" of a person that attracts males and females.
otherwise,,
it's just naked bodies.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (29 December 2009): I agree, that if it bothers you this much he should stop or you tell him it could ruin your relationship. Personally, I would not date a guy who does that, as it is utterly direspectful and degrading to women. Ask him how he would feel with you looking at half naked hunks and drooling over them? He will not admit it, but it would not make him feel great about himself. It does not matter what other people think other than you. If it bothers you , you need to be the number one priority in his life and he needs to alter his behavior. Do not ever take a back seat to anyone in life.. My wonderful grandmother always told me that and it is true!
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (29 December 2009): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionHey its the person who posted this. I understand that men look at porn etc etc. I would find someone else but I've been with my boyfriend for nearly 5 years. He knows how upset I get about things like. When it happened before he said I was being stupid and to stop overreacting. I just want to stop feeling so annoyed at it and accept that he's looking but aint doing anything. When I think about him looking at these pictures, I feel like I want to hurt myself cos I feel like I'm not pretty enough for him and that's why he is looking at the pictures, wishing I was that person.
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A
female
reader, person12345  +, writes (29 December 2009):
 No one can tell you how you feel. I promise you're going to get some responses from guys telling you it's normal and all men look at porn and to get over it.
Guess what. Not all men look at porn (though I'd assume nearly all have at some point) and you don't have to put up with it. You're not required to stay with him and if it bothers you a lot, I'd talk to him. You may find he is willing to stop if you ask him to because it bothers you. Anyone who tells you that you're just being insecure is being deluded. You're allowed to be insecure, and this isn't helping! Talk to him. If it's a big enough issue, you can always find someone who doesn't look at porn.
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