A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:I am very happy in my relationship, but not passionate about it. I don't want to leave it, but don't know that this is it. It would be hard not to be with him, but I don't see myself with him forever either. How can you tell the difference between comfort and love? Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, LazyGuy  +, writes (2 May 2009):
 The real question should be this.
What is the difference between No-match, Love, Comfort and LUST!
Far to many people confuse LUST with Love and Comfort with No-match.
Lust is what you feel for a playboy bunny, you are horny but there is no connection just the desire for some warm meat.
No-match is a made-up worth but basically seems to be for many people (most famously women) when lust is not rampant. The classic line "If only I could meet a boyfriend like you" stems from this. If you always expect an uncontrollable lust then you might easily miss out on a highly compatible partner who you might even love and be comfortable with for decades rather then the couple of months lust lasts for.
Their really is little difference between love and comfort in my mind. If you are with the one you love then surely that is comfortable? And if you are not comfortable with someone you claim to love, then how true is that love?
Passion dies, love gets stronger. That does not mean that when there is no passion that there is love but don't mistake passion for love either. Or cooled of passion for lost love.
Ultimately, you yourself have to decide, why would it be hard to be without him? Is it love or merely that being single again is not something you desire? Is it the comfort of being with someone you trust and want to spare the rest of your life with, or the comfort of not having to go out and date.
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