A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Ive been in a long distance reltionship for two years now. My queshtion is, how do you know when youve lost feelings for someone? We love eachother very much, but past couple months i dont know how i feel about this relationship.We don't get to see eachother very often, in two years we only got to visit eachother twice. But we do talk on the phone every night, or sometimes skype.He's great, he's such a sweetheart and so loyal, but lately we've been fighting so much and he says stuff to me like our relationship is going down hill fast and i dont think it will get any better. When he says this stuff to me it does hurt me and i tell him that but he says he gets so angry and just says stuff but thats how he really feels. but yet he says he's still happy with me.Though stuff like that does make me upset, i fell as if i lost love for him? like i dont get that exciting feeling in my stomach when he calls like i use to. Im not to anxious to call him or text him after work like i use to. And when he says sweet stuff i use to get butterflys and now i dont. and even now like when a cute guy on fb messages me, i dont write back but im sorta timpted to write back. I know in the beggining of the relationship my bf use to message girls just to say hi, but he doesnt do that anymore so i dont think it would be fair if i did. But i never really wanted to talk to any other guy but him. it was never even an opiton cuz he was on my mind all the time and it was like that for about a year ina half now, i do get kinnda timpted to get attention from other guys, but dont.I dont know if i feel like i lost feelings for him because we in a long distance relationship and we cant see eachother alot and its starting to take it toll, and i should just wait it out. And like some days i dont really even feel like talking to him right when i wake up, like i use to. But when i see another girl give him attention, of any kind like on fb if a girl write on his status or something ill find myself getting really jelous and mad and upset?i dont know whats wrong! i want him but then again i feel like ive lost feelings for him. is it because im not in love with him anymore like i use to be? Please help i really wanna be with him and he wants to be with me but we've been fighting so much lately and i think he's unhappy but he doesnt wanna leave cuz he's afraid to lose me forever.Im afraid to lose him. I know i still love him i just dont know if im in love with him as much as i was? could this really happen? I wanna make this last even longer and i dont wanna break up with him and realize i truely love him all along i just got a lil tired of not being able to see him. please give me some advice on what i should do, and does this happen to everyone?
View related questions:
long distance, text Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, Abella +, writes (25 July 2012):
 You have only seen each other twice in two years.
Though you talk daily.
You really are amazing that you have been able to make a LDR last this long, with so little contact. At least once every three months would seem reasonable. And maybe that is too expensive or too far to travel to see each other.
At a crucial learning time in your life during your late teens you are denying yourself so many daily fun times with a guy you like and who you can see face to face every week.
An LDR is often easier if you already have a lot in common and have had the advantage of an extended time together seeing a lot of each other face to face daily or at least several times a week.
Emotionally you would feel very close to him. There is a lot of loyalty there.
If you think the relationship is faltering can you at least see each other face to face to discuss everything?
Often people who do split up will later reunite together as they realize that there are elements that they like and just cannot ignore and so they enjoy a reunion and re-establish the relationship again at at later date.
Already you are tempted to flirt a little (but have not)
And he is clearly being very honest with you as he expresses his true feelings that the relationship is not travelling well. And with so little contact it says much about how honorable and loyal you both have been towards each other.
Maybe if you lived in the same street this relationship might never have faltered. Or maybe you would have seen the cracks appearing and may not have lasted so long.
Trying to hold on to a relationship where the feelings are faltering will not be good.
There may be tears, but have an honest talk about your feelings. (not yor I wish it was like that or that)
A truly honest talk where you show respect and consideration for the heightened emotions and the feelings on both sides.
And give yourselves credit for it lasting so long.
And do pay homage to him for his wonderful loyalty and consideration and love over all the time you have been together in a LDR. He will always be special to you. He will be an unforgetable part of your life.
Maybe one day he will be the man who is permanently in your life as your life partner. And maybe not.
Life is full of surprises.
Maybe your relationship with your guy can be re-envigorated. Maybe it cannot.
You have done your best. And there will be more wonderful opportunities and experiences and eventually you and this guy may rekindle the relationship. Or maybe you will find love with another really great guy.
|
