A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:Hi,A few of weeks ago this guy and I ended things (on mutual terms), because I was leaving the country where we both live as expat and student. He will leave to go back to his country in Dec. It started out as just a fling, but we saw each other and talked to each other every day for a month before I left the country. At the beginning when he was pursuing me, we both knew I would be leaving soon, and I was even hesitant to get with him. So, I don't think we took each other seriously at first(at least on my side). But we went on trips together, cooked for each other, and he stayed at my place for most of the time. At the beginning I just thought that he was someone I could have fun with, but towards the very end when I was leaving, I just broke down in tears when we said our goodbyes. We had said our goodbyes two weeks prior to me leaving, because he was leaving for a internship in another city. But, he had finished it a day before I left so he came to see me, and took me to the airport the next day. It was one of the most heart wrenching thing I've ever gone through. I cried myself to sleep on the plane. He told me he wants to continue being friends. We still keep in touch. For the first week after I left, we talked everyday and was still using pet names. I think after that, we both tried to avoid talking to each other somewhat. Recently, when we talk, we tell each other how we miss one another. It makes me sad that I can't be with him. And I know eventually we will have to start seeing other people. For me, I know if I were see other girls on his facebook, it's gonna hurt me. He's a great guy, super sincere, passionate, and fun. Being with him feels really natural. There's not a moment of awkwardness between us, except for at the beginning when I wasn't used to PDA. But, we both are at two different stages of our lives and we both live in different countries. Any advice on how I can move onto just being friends?Thank you.
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, Abella +, writes (26 August 2012):
 Don't overwhelm him. But occasionally send him card where you tell him about something interesting you have recently done that was positive.
Send him a Happy Birthday card at the right time.
And of course remember him with a Christmas Card.
Do not go into over-board with presents. It is a friendship. You cannot buy friendship.
Keep it light an happy. Eventually he may become intersted again, or he may not.
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