A
male
age
36-40,
*riceless330
writes:Ok I was with my girlfriend for 4 years. We have been through everything together, but we made it through. We have more love for each other than ive ever seen. We our each others first love. We just recently broke up, and she left me. I have been doing everything to get her back. I have sent roses to her work, and pleaded my heart out and it just seems like a light switch she just is completly shutting me out of her life. How after 4 years can she just leave? What can I do to get her to want me back? I am so hurt and every thought in my head seems like its about her. I cant sleep very well and when i do i dream about her. I miss her so much, what do I do. I have tried the whole No contact thing to make her miss me but that seems like bs, because if i am not around her, or talking to her its seems like that would make her not think of me. and not talking or seeing her hurt alot worse. Any ideas or suggestions will help. Thank you so much for reading.
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female
reader, lt33 +, writes (3 October 2008):
Hey, checking back in with you. I understand why you feel life is so pointless. I was the same way for the first couple weeks, but then I thought that even if we do get back together, there has to be other things in my life that make me happy too. I started playing soccer and softball again, I made a weekly girls night with my friends and I became a lot closer with my family. Now instead of living my life just to make him happy, I have found things to make myself happy. If we do get back together I will not only be a better girlfriend (which is the only thing I was before) I will also be better sister, friend and teammate. I think you should try to think the same way.Although texting her might make you feel better, it is only pushing her farther away. She needs some time away right now, and although we dont understand why, if you keep texting/calling/sending flowers you are only pushing her further away. Does it make you feel better to talk to her for a minute knowing that you are pushing her away? Probably not, so stop doing it.I would do anything for my ex also, and that inculdes giving him time to think about what hes doing. You have to give her time to miss you. She knows that she already has you so there is no reason to get back together right now. She can be single and still have you (sitting at home waiting for her) She has the best of both worlds right now. Give her space, give her time. She will notice when you stop calling.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (3 October 2008): I'm also suffering from a breakup two month now. What is really killing me is the unexpected decision my boyfriend made after 6 1/2 years. He just walked away he didn't say if he needs a break or if he broke up with me. I emailed him 2 weeks after breakup asking him if I did anything wrong, but he didn't reply. I never tried to contact him again and I losing weight and don't sleep a wink most of the time. I keep wonder how could he do this to me.
As for you poster, give yourself time to think about your relationship. You can write her a letter and let her know how much you miss her and how you love her but then stop calling her and or stop texting her.
I know it is difficult but try. If she still loves you she won't forget you. I believe no matter who broke up with whom, we all feel hurt. After all you were 4 years together. Respect her decision and don't cause yourself more hurt. Remember the old saying "If you love something, set it free, if it comes back then it's meant to be.
all the best and good luck
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A
male
reader, priceless330 +, writes (2 October 2008):
priceless330 is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThank you for replying, i am the same way lost about 15 pounds, and just feel like life is so pointless now. I feel like everytime i try to leave her alone that it will just make her not think about me, and then everytime i text or call it just pisses her off but i kinda feel like at least we got to talk for a minute. i kinda lost myself, we kinda became one person, and now i have no will to do anything but try to get back where i was before but with the same result each time.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (2 October 2008): I am going through the same thing right now. I was with my boyfriend for 5 years. It was as if he just woke up one day and was a different person. He has only called me once in the month we have been broken up and that was to ask for his stuff back. Everything reminds me of him. Ive lost 15 pounds and I dont sleep. I wish I could tell you something to help you, but I havent found anything helpful. The only thing I do think you need to do, is stop trying to win her back. You didnt lose her, so you dont need to win her back. She walked away and the more you try to win her back the more she is going to want to leave. Im not going to sit her and tell you to work on yourself and to start recovering, because you dont want too. You want her, same as I want him. I think you should give her some time to think about what shes doing. Mean while keep busy. Go out with old friends and make new friends. Good luck!
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