A
female
age
36-40,
*1sha
writes:Hi,I am 26 and my boyfriend is 31. He's Muslim and I'm Christian. I am learning Arabic and plan to convert to Islam. We have been together for over a year. We have been seriously discussing marriage recently. He plans to introduce me to his mum soon as the final hurdle before marriage... but I know that she wants him to marry a Muslim Arab girl only and didn't like his ex-girlfriend. Subsequently he split up with her after 6 years together (she was also white Christian, but would not convert). I was wondering if anyone had any tips on how to win her over? I love this man and really want to marry him.Many thanks
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christian, ex girlfriend, his ex, muslim, split up Reply to this Question
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (11 June 2010): if you are accepting islam just for marriage then you don,t need. b\c islam don,t compel any one to enter in isalm by force. but as brother i adivice you to accept islam b\c you will be feel a sprtual happiness and peace in life.and also before study islam and compare with other religious espically at women status point of view
A
female
reader, Gabrielle Stoker  +, writes (1 June 2010):
 Are you sure of what you're letting yourself in for? Conversion to Islam is a big step (and, not being religious myselfI certainly don't much comprehend the need to). If you really want to 'win over' this woman, you'll have to be roughly twice as modest and devout as the average Arabic muslim girl. Avoid showing skin, don't talk about how much you love ham/pork/bacon and do NOT touch your boyfriend or any other male in her presence.
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A
male
reader, Odds +, writes (1 June 2010):
 Stick to your principals. Is your religion really one of them? Are you really a Christian, or are you just "spiritual, with a Christian-ish style"?
If the latter, then don't bother converting, because you won't care then, either. If the former, stick to it; while the Muslim faith does not exactly welcome marriage to infidels, the mother will respect your conviction. That, of course, leaves open the question of what religion the kids will be... I have no idea how to answer that one.
Dress and act modestly around her... and around him, too. And especially his father.
Your only other bargaining chips in winning her over will be practical ones. Will you make a good, loyal wife? Will you bear him many healthy children? Will your white Christian ancestry bring hybrid vigor to the family line?
Honesty and conviction will win you more points than the "right" answers here. Sit down and think about these. Write down your answers if you have to.
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A
female
reader, busy04 +, writes (1 June 2010):
 There's really not much that you can do, except be yourself,be respectful & be honest w/ her. Just be the person that you are, you can change SOME things for your boyfriend/future husband to be- but not his mother, that should be the limit. Hopefully she will like & appreciate you for who you are, maybe she won't. But if her son really sees you as being with him for long term/marriage, then it's mainly him that you should worry about & in his turn, he should take a stand to remain with you :)
A lot of women wish for & want the perfect daughter/mom-in-law relationship and there's nothing wrong with that, but you just have to be who you are and respect her...and that's really all there is to it :)
Good luck & all the best to you!
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A
female
reader, janniepeg  +, writes (1 June 2010):
 Treat her like any other in law, with respect and sincere interest. She is just another mom worrying about her son's happiness. A warm heart melts cultural boundaries. You sound like you are doing a lot already. With more time your in law will see that you are truly happy together and that a marriage is inevitable.
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A
female
reader, heaven= +, writes (1 June 2010):
to win the mother over the first time you meet her dont wear anything that shows to much skin
and know a lot about your future mother in law ex:what she likes to eat what she knows about you
and last but maybe least get some info. on her-GOOD LUCK!!
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