A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I liked a guy in college. I got jealous of my best friend and told my other best friend to kinda spy on her because she was talking with that guy. I deeply regret it. They are not talking to me now. Please tell me what to do please.
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
reader, anonymous, writes (9 December 2008): Life is a learning phase Dear.One of the cardinal rules of friendship is trust.You didn't trust your best friend.
At times people find it difficult to forgive when you cross a particular line.They are human beings too.
Please make sure that you don't do this to any new friends that you will make in the future.Consider it a lesson learnt.
You have extreme reactions to this situation.I don't think that's a good sign.You have mentioned that you cannot live without them.If I were you I would see a Psycholoist/Psychiatrist.Apologize from the heart and let them go.If you trouble them further,they are going to get irritated with you.Life is never easy.Sigh.
A
female
reader, Teacake  +, writes (9 December 2008):
 For one thing I wouldn't grovel and beg as that puts them in the power position of being able to be more abusive to you. These people don't actually sound like very kind people and by the way they are treating you I don't quite understand why you can't live without them. All three?
Unfortunately there is nothing you can do. Fate and destiny are beyond our control, as the same with others emotions, needs, reactions, perceptions. Very sad when we make a small mistake and others act so cold and unforgiving.
I am in a situation that is a little like this. Not spying but someone I care for so much allowed his best friend to influence him negatively against me and since they are best friends, and I'm just the gal who has sex with my friend... he rather believe the worst about me. I have no idea what the creepy friend of his even says. But this guy is in the closet gay and wants to possess my friend. It is so sick! My friend refuses to believe his friend is gay and has gay feelings for him! You should see the looks the creepy guy gives me as he knows my guy believes him and he is so happy he has managed to ruin things between me and A.
As much as I tried to defend myself, against things I still don't even know , it just made my friend mad at me for saying things about his friend! Horrible!
Basically, people are going to think and believe whatever they want. Even if you are of pure heart, these things are beyond our control. Sorry. I wish I had an answer for you.
Soon enough you will meet new people and hopefully they are more loyal to you!
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (9 December 2008): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionyeah the other friend betrayed my secret because she did not like me asking her to spy on her.i have apologized to them both i have pleaded literally.the one who betrayed my secret is like she needs time to consider my apology and the other one is like right now you have to move on from us.please i do not want to lose them...i cannot live without them..i am sorry....really..help me..
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A
female
reader, Teacake +, writes (8 December 2008):
Love makes people do really stupid things! LOL All of us have done something we regret in the name of "love."
You didn't say what happened that would result in them not wanting to talk to you. Did the one friend betray your secret?
Is it okay to apologize to them all and say that your insecurities got the best of you or would that only bring humiliation?
Can you ask your parents for their advise or another caring adult? Hope this turns out okay for you!
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