A
male
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:I've been with my girlfriend for 6 years and love her very much, but she kind of has a lot of facial hair and it really bothers me. I haven't said anything over the years because I don't want to hurt her feelings and ultimately it doesn't keep me from her because I love her for who she is. Over time it has started to bother me more and more and is affecting my physical attraction toward her. I can feel it when we kiss and as a result we don't kiss much anymore. I want to tell her it bothers me because I think she would probably want to do something about it (she is a very reasonable person and does not get over-emotional or blow things out of proportion and I know she wants our relationship to last), but I just don't know how to tell her and haven't been able to bring myself to say anything. This has been going on for years and it's become agonizing. For a while I told myself that I'm being superficial by letting it bother me and that I just need to get over it, but rather than getting over it, it's just become a bigger issue for me. She doesn't know it, but it has become an obstacle in the relationship. How do I communicate my feelings to her that will be least likely to hurt her feelings? Should I tell her so she can do something about it, or is this my issue, not hers? Reply to this Question
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (5 November 2008): Thanks to all of you for your answers! I just needed to hear those words so I don't feel like an ass when I tell her. Unfortunately it will be a few months because I'm overseas at the moment, but I'm confident this will work out perfectly. Thanks again!
:-)
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (5 November 2008): Just tell her. Fannying about never helped anyone.
Imagine how you would feel knowing that she felt she couldn't be honest with you, that she didn't trust you enough to tell you how she feels about something that bothers her?
Tell her, you have only recently noticed it and that you are just letting her know it is there. It's not the end of the world, there are lots of solutions to facial hair, but only one to acting like a baby.
Remember, it's the little annoyances that later on become relationship killers and a lack of honesty can often fan the flames of annoyance.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (4 November 2008): maybe you could like give hints or just straight out tell her. or maybe you could try and get a mate to tell her
i hope it all works out
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (4 November 2008): Gift her a beauty package at the local beauty parlor.throw in a facial wax.
If this is really bothering you, ask her to have laser treatment that removes hair permanently. If I understand her right she is going to feel bad that you didn't share this with her.6 years is quite a long time to feel uncomfortable to tell her.
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A
female
reader, eyeswideopen +, writes (4 November 2008):
 Maybe give her a smooch then giggle and say that her moustache tickles?
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A
female
reader, SirenaBlusera  +, writes (4 November 2008):
 It probably makes her feel self-conscious and to be direct might really hurt her feelings. I'm not sure why she hasn't done something about it, it's bound to make her feel self-conscious. Perhaps you could get her a gift certificate to a day spa or something as a present? They have other services as well as waxing, you don't have to say specifically that it's for facial hair waxing.
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