A
male
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Hey I'm a tad confused - i know I'm bi - but at our school people will pretend to be gay, bi, straight for jokes but i cannot tell whether the guy i like is gay or bi or straight. Today i asked him if he was a friend of Dorothy's and he said that he didn't know anyone by that name, but that phrase is not very well known these days. But how can i tell the difference between joking and serious and how to flirt without everyone at school finding out about me - there really homophobic!
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (7 December 2009): You could always just ask him directly. Chances are high he'll not tell the truth though if the school really is that homophobic.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (7 December 2009): I'd say ignore what other people think and be honest about who you are. Then the other insecure guys will come to you because you'll be the only know they know for sure is bi. Also I suspect you'd pretty quickly become the only person in school who knows the sexuality of every other person. So coming out definitely has it's benefits. Plus, would you want to be friends with really homophobic people anyway?
But alright, how to find out without telling directly. Subtle flirts. The eye-flirt is a good one for this, although you should hold in mind that whoever you flirt with might catch on to you unless they think you are totally straight and are totally straight themselves. The eye-flirt Im talking about is that you lock eyes with someone, and then hold the stare for about 2-3 seconds. If they don't look away you've captured their attention. Next move is to smile at them. It doesn't have to be done the first time you lock eyes, but maybe the 2nd or 3rd time. You smile at them, just a little, and if they smile back the same way... Well then you know he's interested. By doing this though, you are telling the other person that you are interested in him. But the only way to find out if someone is bisexual or homosexual is by letting out clues that you are too. However this way is very subtle and won't make anyone too embarrassed.
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