A
female
age
,
anonymous
writes:thanks for reading this.I have a freind who has bad eyesight and she has the possibility she might,lose her sight, she might not, but she might. I saw her recently and she was really upset and I was the shoulder to cry on - which is Ok, I want to be there for my friend, she is my friend. she thinks she is worthless and that life will beover if and when she ever loses her remaining sight, i know this is a huge thing to deal with, cant imagine how she is feeling, want to support her - how? she has had counselling and is dealing with this slowly. but occasioanlly says she is worthless, she will have to quit her job, that she loves, and things are over, she isnt old. Other than telling her, which I do, how do i let her know she isnt worthless! this might sound strange, any advice much apprecxiated thanks. Reply to this Question
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (23 November 2008): I was in your friend's position some years ago; actually was blind for two years (four surgeries saved my sight to an extent). I was a teacher and thought that was my entire identity. As her friend who wants to help, you can do this: Do research about her condition, the best specialists, the possible outcomes of any kind of treatment. Be informed. Start to introduce small "gifts" of the other senses; a big bouquet of flowers, audio books- record radio programs, special music, your words and greetings, an audio diary of your day, special holiday program. Be THERE. Find the nearest place that helps blind people adjust; eg. "lighthouse for the blind". Go there with her. Volunteer for a day- both of you. The people at these places will usually talk to someone on the phone but going there to see what is possible is so much better. It's amazing. Share the possibilities.
And finally, know that you are not what you do- your gift is always who you are. Your friend can do a lot when she is blind- just differently. It's learning another "language" (of blindness) and becoming part of a different "culture". She has to keep believing that. I met wonderful people at my local blind center; one, a former doctor who used to cry every day because he thought he couldn't travel. Now he travels using audio tours and he has become an advocate of installing braille in all museums.
Your friend will have even more to offer but she will have to rediscover what it is. Be informed, supportive and positive. Please help her "see" the possibilities.
Close your eyes- listen to the sounds of the holidays, taste snowflakes on your tongue, feel the sun on your face,...Do it now. God bless you both. You will be in my prayers.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (23 November 2008): I'm sorry...I didn't proofread my msg. I meant to say tell her how much she means to you!
It's late...time for me to go to bed!
GOOD NIGHT & GOD BLESS
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (23 November 2008): I don't think at this point that there is not to much more you can do then what you are already doing.You are a great friend and thats what she needs.Your friend will go through many changes with this.Including her change of attitude and self worth.Trust in God.
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reader, anonymous, writes (23 November 2008): Perhaps you can look into organizations for the blind and they might be able to help you help her. It's a tough situation and I feel for you and her both. I wish I had a better answer, but I'm sorry I don't, but I'm sure if you look into it you will find help somewhere.
In the meantime all you can do is exactly what you are doing. Be there for her and let her know she's not worthless to you. Tell why she is such a great friend and how much you mean to her! And last but not least, pray for her! Good Luck to both of you!
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