A
female
age
51-59,
anonymous
writes:Hi aunts and uncles, I'm at the end of my tether and need some help please!I know you'll say you must be mad, and I do know I must but I just can't help myself.I have had a guy at work chasing me for ages, I know he likes looking at the attractive women anyway, I have seen it with my own eyes with at least two other women.(Okay so I know married men still find women attractive) He is married with children, but that doesn't seem to bother him at all.The problem is that after months of very cleverly building a connection between us he also touches me whenever he can. These touches started out as brushes against me, holding and squeezing my hand,etc, and have escalated to more intimate touches. He wraps his hands around my waist, watches my face,especially my mouth, makes strong deep lingering eye contact and has on a few occasions moved forward to kiss me, but then pulled back. Over the last few months I have developed very strong feelings for him, to the point that my work revolves around him.We are together at every opportunity at work, but nothing has ever been mentioned other than that. I do know that had he wanted to have an affair, he would have said something by now, he hasn't, and we only ever talk about general things. He doesn't seem to be able to have a day when he doesn't touch me. I convinced myself that he wanted to move things further but was not quite ready. I know I have been stupid allowing this to happen,and allowing it to go on for such a long time, but I really do feel strongly for him and can't seem to let him go.I know he must be using me for the excitement, and has recently started the same thing with another colleague, even where I can see it (I don't think he does it in front of me on purpose)but I just happen to see it every now and then.I have tried to stay out of his way, it is hard because, I admit, I want him around me, I also want to touch him constantly, but I only want him around me if these actions are exclusive to me. Obviously they are not. I'm sure all of the women he has done this with feel like they are the special one, I have for a long time.He gazes at me with wide doey wet eyes and very large pupils, and even blushes when i am near him.He does have an advantage over me as he knows I think a lot of him now. I always felt that he had special feelings fro me when he looks at me, and then I see him watching one of the others and my gut sinks. I know I need to stop it and move on but I just don't know how.I have never spoken to the others about any of it, and I am sure they have seen him like it with me as well (maybe not the touches)I know I am stupid for this, I advise women myself to back away from things like this all the time, but I just can't do it myself! How do I get this out of my head and my system?It's driving me crazy! I think he must be one of those guys who likes to 'conquer' without actually doing the deed, and I'm sure he has left more than one woman high and dry.I am also sure his wife must be oblivious to it all.I can't get the guy out of my head. Please give me some practical advice without the usual, LEAVE HIM ALONE HE'S MARRIED STUFF.I know I have encouraged it, or at least have not slapped his face, but it really is Him doing all tyhe chasing.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (26 November 2010): The horn dog masked as a love sick puppy dog has manipulated you into thinking of him day and night and waiting for him to flat out ask you... at which time... you will be ready to say yes. It's called gardening. And, it appears that he has several crops he's tending to at the same time. He's playing with you. Now, if that doesn't piss you off enough to turn you off to him... then I don't know what to say.Moreover, it sounds like you are lonely... take this as a sign that you need to find a fulfilling relationship of your own. Be careful. Some men (especially in work environments) have strange little games they play with women... locker room talk, etc... Unless you want to continue to be the subject of male games and be their fodder... back off and do an about face... making this entirely professional. The love sick puppy dog is messing with you.
A
female
reader, DanceInTheDark  +, writes (25 November 2010):
 He may be doing all the chasing, but you're clearly indulging him.
Tell him to stop. Plain and simple.
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