| A
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes: I don't know what to do.. I'm in love with a girl long distance (700 miles apart) and she is in so much trouble.. She is being abused by this guy.. She keeps making excuses for him. I ask her plain as day, has he hit you and she says yes, but he is not a woman beater. And just yesterday he pushed her off of her chair onto the ground while i was chatting with her on the computer, and also grabbed her arm and wrenched it.I tried talking to him, but he seems more content picking on a 5 something foot tall girl than ME. He won't face me or talk to me. He is a coward, a stinking coward.SHe had children with this guy, so doesn't want him to be arrested, and she keeps making excuses for him abusing her. He threatened to kill himself and said it would be all her fault and she believes him! I... want to help her.. how can I do this. She is developing health problems from being in her situation. She says I make her happier than anything in her life. I want to show her more of that... she is such a beautiful person... It makes me so angry to think of this guy hurting her...
View related questions:
long distance Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, Moo's Mum  +, writes (20 March 2010):
 Sorry I have taken a wee while to write back again but I had to think carefully about what to write to you after your last post. I think you are to be highly commended for sticking around because to me it doesn't really sound like she cares about you as much as you do about her. It kind of sounds like she was using you to get what she wants. I think you need to say to her I can't handle this emotional situation anymore I will be here waiting if you choose to come to me and I will love you but I can't stand back and watch what's happening to you anymore. I want you to leave this man and come to me but I can't make you do this.
Then as hard as it's going to be for you I would back off a bit cause I worry you are investing too much of yourself with a girl who may just like a bit of drama. I don't mean to sound harsh about her but to me something doesn't add up.
Please let us know how you are going I'm sending you my prayers.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (17 March 2010): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionRash unthinking action caused this all. I met her through a friend, he gave me her phone number and we started talking on the phone, whenever she had minutes. Then, we started going on yahoo and chatting.. Then I visited her. Then, I visited her again.. and again Each time I got a hotel room and she met me there. The third visit I lost my mind and did what she kept asking me to, I gave her a baby.
But.. she didn't tell me she had a guy sitting at home that she lives under the thumb of. She claims she hasn't had sex with him for months and months, and that they are "separated", but she still lives in fear of him. He mentally and physically terrorizes her. I don't have much in the way of finance, i don't have my own house for her and her kids.
I told her I was a man of small means up front and she said that didn't matter to her. She says she loves me so much, and that I make her happy.
But I am so afraid for her, and afraid for the baby. I might do something else rash here, if you know what I mean. I don't know.
...............................
A
female
reader, Moo's Mum +, writes (17 March 2010):
Unfortunately the extra bit you added about your baby was not there when I first answered. Can you move or can she move to be with you? Why are you so far apart? We need more details on how the distance has occured here.
...............................
A
female
reader, Moo's Mum +, writes (16 March 2010):
The way you can help her is by being there to pick up the pieces when she finally gets up the courage to leave this man. You can also document the dates you know abuse has occured and note the particulars of the situation as this could then be used as evidence against him in a trial if it comes to that. Let her know you will be there for her no matter what. Give her a code word to use when she needs you to help and map out a plan of what that help with be with her. Tread very carefully though as your involvement may make him take it out on her even more. Realise you can't make her leave, she has to come to that decision herself.
Good luck will be thinking of you.
...............................
A
reader, anonymous, writes (16 March 2010): Police parents or friends that you no that no her its the best you can do being so far away
...............................
A
reader, anonymous, writes (16 March 2010): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionnot just a friend.I think y'all should know my baby is growing inside her from when I visited last. I didn't know all the facts back then, but..Not just a friend, by any means. This is killing me.
...............................
|
