A
male
age
30-35,
*ensativeguy010
writes:Well first i will tell you exactly what my problem is and explain it in detail. Any girl i get really attached to after about a month or 2 months i get paranoid that they are going to dump me.So basically 4 years ago i dated this girl, and after about a month i grew extremely strong feelings for her(for the sake of making myself not look stupid im not gonna say love, cuz it was only a month) and about 2-3 weeks later one day she just up and dumps me. She had a reason but i knew it wasnt the real reason. Well being the sensative guy i am i was heartbroken and felt like ****, then i find out a couple days later she dumped me for another guy, good news right!? yea right.. Well ever since then any girl i grow really attached to after about a month-2 months i start getting paranoid that they are going to just dump me so i worry thinking that they might be losing interest, or im doing things wrong, just stupid stuff and its really stupid to think like that but i pretty much cant help it. My last Ex i grew even stronger feelings for than the first girl and after about a month and a half i start becomeing paranoid and worrying that im doin something wrong or shes losing interest blah blah blah, and well about a week after the paranoia kicks in things start to go down hill, not bcuz im paranoid but becuase she had some stupid crap going on in her life that was confusing her and well we broke up, so 6 months later i am now dating my current girlfriend and shes is just wonderful everything i want so far, and today i start getting that paranoia feeling, so i decide to tell her about it and she understood and was sincere. I just want to know if there is anything i can do to suppress that feeling paranoia?
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female
reader, heartbroken100 +, writes (30 September 2010):
i have the same problem with guys... but you have to give them all your heart and take that risk of getting hurt everytime! because if you start acting paranoid, you will act different. and thats a turn off!! and theyll leave you just because your acting weird. somebody told me this once and it will help you.
dont worry about something you cant help or cant control!
i know its hard but you have to just go with it
A
female
reader, Moo's Mum  +, writes (30 September 2010):
 This is a hard thing to stop yourself doing and you may need to seek help with it by means of a qualified therapist. Basically you need to keep telling yourself to chill out and try to live each day as it comes instead of worrying about what will happen tomorrow. Ya know it's highly possible that these girls dumped you because they couldn't handle the paranoia and possessiveness. Take some deep breaths when you get this feeling and focus on your inner self. Think of things that calm you and don't move until you feel more centred and calm.
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