A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:This is sort of two questions in one. Ok, i'm in college and with a class of nice people, well generally they are nice but for the last 5 months i've been getting pciked on quite abit. Its mroe of verbal bullying actually, nasty comments, just making me feel stupid and generally acting like they don't like me. Thing is we all hang around together as a group and the college is very small so we are all together as no one really knows everyone else so i'm with them for the next year. Thing is i'm on to them mroe than they know, the teachers know and there one main person who i am going to tell them about and try and get that sorted. but the thing is if they think im so stupid, weird and different as they have already stated and that they don't like me because of it. They just basically think i'm stupid and an idiot when i'm not. The person who i think was the main reason this started is the person im gonna talk to the teachers about because me and the lads especially used to get on great. It's like when one of them says something funny but stupid they will laugh but if i say it or do something they justlaugh AT me and make it obvious they think i'm stupid. Same if someone makes a joke about someone, they're fine with it but if i do it they don't like it. Thing is i understand they may not like me and really no one can make them but how can i try and build on our friendship with them? Make it so that we all get on because if i'm on my own with certain people on their own then they are a lot better with me, its just when the whole groups together! So i never really know who's to blame. Also this lad i like and now i know he doesn't feel the same but we are acting like nothings happened, well he's fine with me on my own and everything, we get on fine, i admit we don't talk much because we don't know each other that well but that goes for most of us, but when we're in a group he does laugh along, he doesn't necessarly aim anything at me like the others or anything but does laugh along depending on whats being said. But then again hes religious and wants to treat everyone equally but it just goes to show how much they change when they are all together. Also he's said he wants to stay single so i know he doesn't like this other girl but she was so quiet at first and now shes really opened up and they get on great, like he's started sitting with her more and everything and the thing is like people can make him laugh and stuff but why can't i? So really i'm asking how do i build on my friendship and become better friends with this lad i like? How do i get him to like me better as a friend and everything?and the 2nd question ishow do i just become better friends with the others and try and get them to see i'm not so bad and to stop picking on me? Like how can i show them im more fun and just get along with them better?Also if have any advice on what to say to my tutor about it all i'd be greatful because as she's said they need to grow up and she can't force them to like me but surely the least they could do is not make it so obvious and try and get along with me! Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, Bobbyjo +, writes (10 May 2008):
 I think you are trying too hard to impress your classmates and in turn they are reacting in this way. You are dwelling too much on what they are saying/doing/sitting next to etc when really you should be concentrating more on what you are being taught. I know its hard when you are in a situation like this as you are made to feel like an outcast, but picking up their habits and copying what they are saying to see if you get a reaction isnt going to help things. If you getting nasty comments then yes this is verbal bullying and you will need to go to your teacher rather than try to sort it yourself. Also, speak to your teacher about the way they are making you feel. It seems to me that this problem is grating on you alot and I would suggest that you just be yourself in class, dont act as someone else or try to live up to others expectations, and dont get upset over the comments.Also I wouldnt worry too much about the boy. I think youre looking in to things too much and believe me this really doesnt help matters. It can make you believe your own assumptions, even if they are totally wrong, and this will push people even further away.
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