A
female
age
36-40,
*ueannstep
writes:I posted a question on here recently dealing with trust issues I have been having with my boyfriend of four years. I've gone back and forth thinking that it would be easier to just end it, but have decided to just give it time and try with all my might to forgive him... but I am still dealing with other facets of this situation.It seems that I get sad, out of nowhere. I start thinking of things that happened and I start asking myself questions like "how could he be romantically linked to someone else for over a month and truly love me?" Mainly, I can't seem to stop thinking of the past. I don't know why I feel the need to keep analyzing things that happened a year ago, but I do. I'll come across a movie ticket stub and wonder "was he talking to this girl then?" or I constantly feel compelled to ask him the same questions about things he has already answered, repeatedly. He is obviously trying, but he doesn't know what to do beyond comforting me and telling me he loves me. Is this just the nature of getting over being lied to or am I obsessing? Can anyone who has been through this help me or give me some idea if what I am feeling is normal and if so, how do I stop it? Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, tracker  +, writes (13 September 2009):
so if you figure out how to get over this hump def let me know lol my boyfriend of 4years lied to me bout drugs... Serious drugs.... And now says he has changed and is not lying but.... Always runs thro my head weather he is or not same thing i will think of a time where we were not together and he was lyin to me and get instant depression....
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (17 April 2009): Hunny, I know exactly how you feel. My bf cheated on me in the first few months of us dating. He denied it but I had proof from his facebook profile.Anywho, all I can say is that it is absolutely heart breaking. :O( And I too would have things that would set me off, but with LOTS of time I slowly began reducing these 'spouts of depression', although they still occured from time to time. My main problem was the fact that I was pushing my bf away, he always stood by me and said that he understood, loved me and could take it............BUT I pushed my luck and lost him this xmas from pushing him away too much. Its sucks and I wish I wouldnt have taken advantage by thinking that it was ok to do this 9 months after the event happened. Apparently it takes 1-2 years to get over it and you will still have a lingering thought in the back of your mind.This xmas I actually thought he was cheating and I totally lost it. I didnt talk to him over christmas and tried to push him even further. I wish I hadnt. I really did lose the love of my life. :O(You are raw now, so any emotions are fine, but please please PLEASE dont lose him in the future like I lost mine. Just bear that in mind.Good luck hunny xx
...............................
|
