A
male
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Hey people!I have a problem. I asked out my close friend a month or so ago, and was rejected, given the "no chance" treatment.My problem is not with trying to form some sort of relationship (as she said, "no chance of anything happening between us"), but it's more getting over her.Some days I'm fine with it, some days I don't really care and other days I feel like I'm dying inside, and some days it's a mix of all three.But the worst one is jealousy. Whenever she's with this other person (he has a girlfriend, so nothing *should* be happening), it just makes my blood boil.Can I have your ideas on how can overcome this?
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reader, anonymous, writes (6 November 2010): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionAlright, thanks for the answers folks.
A
male
reader, Boonridge McPhalify +, writes (6 November 2010):
 as long as necessary to not care about her any more which is dependent on how long you've had a thing for her. it will take as long as it does, but you will know as at some point you wont care about her anymore (and it will be like a eureka freedom feeling), obviously you will still like her but if you are never around her she will fade out of your concious and become a memory rather than an open sore. plus sexual feelings disappear before ones of friendship, but if you start hanging with her again the cycle could repeat itself...
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (6 November 2010): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionDefine "while".
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A
male
reader, Boonridge McPhalify +, writes (6 November 2010):
cut contact with her for a while, simple. i was very good friends with this guy and there was "no chance" but something kept making me think there was and there is ussually some behaviour the other person does that sends you a mixed signal. remove all the negative source of mental stimulation by not talking to her for a long while.
a large part of your friendship was based on the desire for something more substantial and now that cannot happen the friendship will seem hollow and painful. move on by not seeing her. it will work in the long term and you will be free to love someone else rather than stay under her spell which is making you unhappy.
dont feed her ego, feed your own. good luck
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (6 November 2010): you have no right to exert control over her. She can associate with whoever she pleases. And she can reject whoever she is not interested in, as a partner. This is just you brooding. Get out, get busy, get involved in other activities. It was not meant to be, accept it as the true reality. You are wasting your time if you do anything else
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (6 November 2010): I would back away for awhile! Being around her will only make u feel worse. Do it at ur own pace and still b cool with her... Maybe instead of hanging out all the time just send a simple text
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (6 November 2010): Hi there,
I have been in your situation and I found it very hard to deal with.
I was 23 years old and she was 21.
She gave me the old line about being a great guy, but that she wasn't looking for a relationship.
About two weeks later she started dating a total dropkick and from that point on it crushed me whenever I would see her with him.
As much as I thought I could remain friends with her, we drifted apart and the friendship ended, because whichver way I looked at it, she had rejected me and had also lied to me about the fact she wasn't looking for a relationship
I guess the main thing you need to ask yourself is how important is this persons friendship. How you handle the situation will ultimately decide if you remain friends with this person.
Good luck with it
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