A
male
age
41-50,
*akkels
writes:how do i overcome my jealousy problem? is it normal to be jealous? please help me overcome this problem
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female
reader, samsproperty  +, writes (6 November 2008):
While jealousy is a widespread practice, in my opinion it is an indicator of maturity. I used to be jealous and it was a difficult existence, so I understand the hell it can be. The thing that cured me was to face all the triggers of jealousy. And remember, jealousy is not limited to your primary relationship; it goes all across the board: family relationships, friends, co-workers promotions, neighbor's material wealth, on and on.
Jealousy is curable.
As jealousy is a sense of loss of control, which all humans go through, the way to overcome it is to allow the very circumstances which trigger your worst jealousy state. Allow those things to occur, and then bridle yourself. Do nothing. Make no communications, send no messages, allow the dreadful sinking feeling of jealousy to happen to you, but do absolutely nothing about it, and then let that situation run it's full course. Throughout it, and when it is done, tell yourself, "I choose to do nothing about this, and I choose to feel at peace."
For example, if you are jealous your boyfriend flirts with other women, watch him go through it and do it all he likes all the while you say to yourself, "I choose to do nothing about this." then, an interesting thing occurs. You find your energy going from trying to get him to change, to you making your life as free as his. You will take your sight off him and onto what YOU want to do. Maybe you'll flirt, and then that's okay, because he does it too. Maybe you'll decide you won't be with a man who does that, and that's okay too, 'cuz then with your new standard, you won't have a boyfriend with that issue. And then, you will enjoy yourself more, because you won't be landlocked into that frustrating stage of wanting someone else to choose something you want them to. So let it all slide. Let it go. And in the process, you will find yourself doing what you want, and not worrying about your pain from other's actions.
Good luck.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (6 November 2008): Please give me more details.In which scenarios do you feel jealous?I will definitely try and help you out.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (6 November 2008): If a guy flirts with her openly before you its alright to feel jealous.You cannot be jealous of other guys looking at her,her guy friends,her girls day out,the time she spends with her family.That is not normal.
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A
female
reader, Mandy7777 +, writes (6 November 2008):
Jealousy is usually a sign that something else is going on....Is the other person doing something that bothers you and trips your trigger?
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