A
female
age
41-50,
*ineire
writes:I think that I have a fear of receiving love, which has basically held me back for years having a relationship with men that i did fancy and were interested in me but the fear of receiving love stopped me.Does anyone have any advice on solving this fear? Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
reader, anonymous, writes (9 May 2015): You really don't have a fear of receiving love, you don't believe you deserve it. You're not sure how to return it.
If it's good, your instincts will kick in; and you'll know just what to do. Love is meant for everybody.
I bet you wonder how do I know that? Because we all feel that way, when we have finally found it. That right person comes along and it scares the shit out of us.
After searching for it forever. What to do with it, once we've got it?
It happened to me. Now let me tell you child!
I met this terrific guy. I got dumped by someone else I thought was terrific too. He was. I just wasn't meant for him, and he wasn't meant for me. But we both satisfied a need in each other until what we had to end. That's how life goes, my dear reader.
First, you have to have a realistic idea of what it is you have between you. Love is not like it is portrayed in the movies, on Hallmark cards, or in novels we read. It's a chemistry between people that can't be denied or avoided.
It is something that happens to us when we weren't looking. It hits us when we least expect it.
It is profound, frightening, confusing, and wonderful. Absolutely wonderful!
You may have faults and flaws that make you feel you are undeserving. Maybe you have been told by someone you don't deserve it. Maybe you have been hurt by many people in your past; and/or there are things you've done to hurt others, and it is all catching up with you.
That doesn't mean you don't deserve to be loved. My dear reader, love is a gift from God; because we all deserve it.
The past failures you've been through all means you have to realize what it feels like to be hurt. That pain should teach you how to treat someone who is sent to you as a blessing, and how not to take them for granted. Yes, it is a blessing. You are also a blessing to someone who is meant for you, and right for you.
When love comes your way, accept it. It came your way for a reason. It was your time to receive it.
There are no guarantees, and there is no way you can predict how things will turn out. Enjoy it when you get it, and however long it lasts. That's all we can do.
You have to let it happen. You want to know in advance how long it will last, and you want to know signs and signals that will tell you how things are going. Trust on how you are treated, and how what you give is reciprocated.
Sorry, but life is unpredictable. We have to wait and see. There is risk, there is mystery, there is intrigue. My dear young friend, just take a chance. If you don't allow yourself to submit yourself when love comes your way, you live out your life in regret, sorrow, and loneliness.
Take a chance. That's what we all do.
I wish you the best. I think it has come your way, and you don't know what to do. Take it, if it has.
My dear, just submit yourself and allow it to happen.
You do deserve to be loved. We all do. There is no way to predict how good it will be, how long it will last, or if we might get hurt. Nothing ventured, nothing gained.
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