A
female
 ,
anonymous
writes:I know this may sound stupid but I'm not sure if what my now ex bf did to me was right or wrong. I am wondering if he was trying to pressure me into sex or not? Is it possible he didnt realise what he was doing was wrong or considered pressure? -He called me a tease because I got him aroused but wouldnt follow through with sex. But its not as if I ever promised him that!-I continualy kept saying no that I didnt want to have sex or for him to finger me...but he persisted by slowly easing into it. E.g. he would slowly put his hands up my top or put his hands near my waste then sneaking them into my pants. I would pull his hands away and tell him to stop but he would force them right back down. -He tried to take my top off and I said no but he still persisted. He said 'come on let me jsut take it off, thats all I promise.' So i gave in and said yes. BUt then he wnated to take off my bra and i said to him 'you promised that was all' and he just said 'come on..please just take off your bra babe, thats all i swear!'. so i did...that same pattern kept on going- it went from my top, to bra, to pants, to panties, then to actual sexual acts. He would say things like 'let me just put one finger in and ill take it out straight away ok!'. He never kept his promises.I had to pull his hand out and then he would put it right back in. -He tried forcing my hand onto his penis several times.-Once I let him pressure me into oral sex and then after that he expected me to always do it and when I said no because I wasnt comfortable with that yet in our relationship he would say 'well you have done it before'. -He made me feel guilty when I said no to sex by saying 'dont you trust me??? why dont you trust me?'. I dont know if he indended to make me feel guilty, but he sure did. I explained to him that it was hard for me to trust because I had a bad experience with my ex bf who I lost my virginity too as he abused me after. He just said 'well you know im not like him, i wont do that and im not going to leave you'. He made all these promises! But he broke them :( he did dump me two weeks after he said that. How can i miss someone who did that? and how can i not hate him? i dont even feel angry at him for what he did. i just feel like a loser because i was dumped. i feel like i wasnt good enough for him. i wish i could be angry at him and not like him, it would make geting over him so easily, but i just dont. why?
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
reader, anonymous, writes (3 May 2008): If that "guy" did that to you is an idiot!
So if you think of him you just waist your time!
My mother says to me..don't do something that you don't want!That's not wrong!You have right for all of those things!!
Trust yourself!
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (29 April 2008): Hunny
FIRST YOUR NOT A LOOSER HE IS!!!!!!!!!!!!!You did nothing wrong but trust after loosing trust of a previous b/f who hurt you badly. Sweetheart never feel pressured, If you ever do then your with the wrong person, You probably dont feel angry as your not sure if your right or wrong at the moment as he has made you feel unsure of yourself. You are not wrong you were not wrong ok sweetheart he was!!!!!! If you need a chat at anytime message me, But no from within hunny you are not in the wrong and you are well rid if you ask me, He was after one thing only and your worth more than that...YOU TAKE CARE OF YOU WITH LOTS OF LOVE N HUGS MANDY XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX
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