A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Since I was 3 or 4, before I even knew anything about sex, I've performed a type of masturbation where I'm on either my side or my belly with my legs crossed and rub myself aggressively with both hands. I'm 18 now and still do it. It feels fantastic, but I can't get the same feeling in any other, less-awkward position. If I push my inner thighs together in any position I get a little bit of it, but not nearly as much.I started having sex recently but my boyfriend can rarely penetrate me; most foreplay either hurts or just doesn't get me wet enough to let him in. This solo act is the only thing that really feels good.two questions: 1. Is it unusual that I started this behavior as a child?2. How can I get the same sensation in a different position? I want to be able to have my boyfriend do it to me without being in that awkward position.
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female
reader, Tisha-1 +, writes (23 November 2011):
 I think part of it is the muscle contraction of your legs. You're engaging your pelvic floor as well. The thing I think some women fail to take into account when they can't reach orgasm is that it is an active state of muscle use, not simply lying on their backs hoping that the genital stimulation alone will do the job.
The two hands suggests you like diffuse but firm stimulation so directly stimulating the clitoris wouldn't work because it might be too intense. Thus "fingering" won't feel good.
Try lying on your back with your legs straight but not crossed and engage those thigh and gluteal muscles as you stimulate your groin area with firm, broad pressure from flat hands not pointy fingers. If that works, you could build from there.
Definitely use lube, there's no shame in not self-lubricating enough; some women do, some women don't. It's not a value judgement on you or him. At the very least, it will make the act of penetration just a bit more comfortable for you. Have your orgasm first, then see if you are feeling more relaxed in your vaginal area and add lube as needed. Relax, relax, relax. There's no race or set choreography for sex.
There's a position where she puts her legs close together after he penetrates, he shifts his body up so his pubic bone is higher on her genitals, kind of a flat broad pressure applies to the clitoral area. Try that with lots of lube while you engage your glutes and upper thigh muscles and see how that goes.
I think you're normal, by the way.
Have fun! Be safe!
A
female
reader, So_Very_Confused +, writes (23 November 2011):
 why is LUBE such an evil thing to you?
so many women think that if they don't lubricate enough themselves then they aren't attracted to their partner.. and that's just not true...
what about having him use his hands to mimic the pushing of the thighs... grabbing your labia and gently squeezing it together over your clitoris?
YOU need to squat down with over a mirror and figure out what it is you like specifically...
EXPLORE and figue it out... that's half the fun...
and
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (23 November 2011): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionManual always either hurts, or doesn't feel like anything if I tell him to be more gentle; even if he's just stroking. He's great at oral but it just doesn't get me going enough. I'd like to save lube as the last option, if possible.
If someone could figure out from the position and the inner-thigh thing exactly what part of me I'm stimulating during masturbation, it would help me find different ways to work that area.
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A
female
reader, So_Very_Confused +, writes (23 November 2011):
it's not unusual that you started masturbating at a young age.. it's perfectly normal
I think that you have taught yourself to orgasm in only one position with only one type of stimulation... and while that feels great it's going to create problems.
My suggestion... stop masturbating... work slowly and gently with your partner.... use LUBE
and do NOT expect to orgasm from penetration.
he needs to do oral or manual stimulation... oral helps with the need for lube... but LUBE is your friend...
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