A
male
age
30-35,
*raden
writes:My girlfriend and I have been dating since we were 16. From the moment we got together she told me she had planned on being a virgin until she got married. Honestly in the beginning I figured if we dated long enough I would change her mind. But the longer our relationship went on I respected her view and never pressured her into sex. Over the past 2 yrs we talked a lot about it and why it was important to her to save herself until marriage. She said she wanted to give the man she planned to marry her whole self and that it meant that she had waited for the perfect guy and just didnt give into temptation.I alway knew when things were getting heated between and I always stopped myself because I knew she wasn't ready. One few weeks ago after a party she was drinking and when we were messing around she told me she wanted to have sex and I even said no. I told her if she still wanted to in the morning then I would be there and ready. Our senior prom is this coming weekend and a bunch of us are getting rooms at the hotel that it is being held at. This morning she told me that she was ready and wanted to have sex on prom night. We talked for a while and she said I waited this long and have never pressured her and that it proves that I am the perfect guy for her. I really wasn't accepting her to say any of this and a part of me is thinking "Yes finally" but another part of me is wondering if she really is ready. I plan on letting the night play out and see if she changes her mind but at the same time I want to be prepared if we do does this. I want her first time to be perfect but since it will also be my first time too I have no idea what to do. What can I do to make her first time perfect and what advice would you give me since it will be my first time also. Reply to this Question
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female
reader, LoveForeverxoxo  +, writes (2 July 2012):
First of all, i just wanted to say i respect you so much. You are a sweetheart for waiting for her and even telling her no cause you werent sure she ment it.Anyways; If she does wANT TO do it prom night, i would just wait till like prom was over then have her come to your house if possible? Then you could be romantic like light candles ect. I honesly dont think prom night would be best, only cause you two seem really perfect and happy and she wants her first time to be with you, and you want her first time to be perfect.Good luck to you both
A
male
reader, braden +, writes (18 June 2012):
braden is verified as being by the original poster of the questionBelieve me I have asked her a million times in the last 24 hours if she is sure prom night is want she wants. Since we both live at home she figured being at a hotel would give us the most privacy and time we needed that we wouldnt get at home.
Foreplay (or in our case the only play we have) I can do. As for stopping if she changes her mind, that wont be an issue. I am used to fooling around and stopping mid way through. I would NEVER make her do any thing she didnt want to do, botom line I love her way more then a few minutes of fun.
Besides making it about her I do have a couple questions
1- Since we are both virgins I have heard so many horror stories about pain. Is there any way of making it more comfortable for her so she will want to do it again. We have messed around (oral and touching) but I never actually fingered her before. I have touched and rubbed her but never been inside her in any way.
2- I know she was on birth control when we first starting dating (her mom made her) but she has stopped taking it a LONG tine ago. Even if she were to go back on birh control she would never get to her doctor before our prom night. I plan on wearing a condom but what are the chances of something happening to it (breaking or slipping off)
3- How can I make sure none of my goof ball friends try to interrupt and ruin the moment with out telling them our plans
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (18 June 2012): the most important advice i can give is...
the lady always comes first
take your time, don't rush, enjoy and explore.
foreplay. kiss, touch, use your mouth and fingers before using anything else.
be a generous lover, get her to come first before you think about fulfiling your own needs.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (18 June 2012): Can I firstly say that you seem like a fantastic boyfriend! It's so nice on this site to have a problem that doesn't involve fighting etc. As for what you're asking, just make sure you have protection, and I would recommend not drinking too much, as alchol and first time doesn't mix well in my book. Finally, do what you both feel is right, at the time take it slow (use fingers to warm her up) and learn about it together. Enjoy.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (18 June 2012): You are a good guy for respecting her wishes so long, and even saying no when she wanted too that one night.
However, I think you are right when you wonder if she is really ready. Because if she was a girl so intent on saving herself for marriage, and thought anything outside of marriage was giving in to temptation, wouldnt having sex on prom night be giving into temptation?
It sounds like she is feeling the hormones more strongly as she gets older, and she is also caving in to peer pressure.
My advice is: Do not have sex with her on prom night. I can bet you half her reasoning for saying yes is that its very popular to lose your virginity on prom night. Prom is already a great night. Why make it stressful by adding first time sex to it? Just enjoy the day with her.
After prom is over, ask her again how she feels about sex and see what she says. Ask her about how often you will have sex after you have it the first time. She may have it once, and feel very guilty and decide never to have it with you again. She may love it. But you both need to agree on your needs and how often is enough, BEFORE you do it. Otherwise it just gets messy and complicated after when more emotion is involved.
If she still wants to sleep with you afterwards and you have agreed on accomodating your needs, then I would say go for it. In terms of making it perfect, its already going to be wonderful because she is having it with you and she loves you. However, setting the mood, candles, music, all that sort of thing can turn a wonderful night into an amazing night.
Be sure to remember that it IS your first time though. So it will take some practice.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (18 June 2012): follow your heart make her feel like she worth's something . most girls dont like boys who talk about sex all day any way ,
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