A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I am absolutely positively in love with my boyfriend of three years. I've been a complete mess for the past week and depressed. So, here my story goes.About a week ago, I made the biggest mistake of my life. I felt like I didn't matter to him and everything in my life was stressing me out.I called up my ex-boyfriend who had randomly texted me recently and spoke to him for about two or three hours. I don't know why it was so easy to talk to my ex, because he hurt me so much in the past. I forgave my ex for everything and soon enough, I was carrying a conversation that eventually would get me into serious trouble. As a means to solve my stress, my adrenaline kicked in to go see him at about 4 in the morning. I don't know what came over me, but I was not acting myself. I parked my car at his house and gave him a call. He didn't pick up. So, I sped off and almost drove home until I made a turn back around to try another time. ugh. I should have listened to my instinct, because the second time I parked, he came outside and into my car. So many past feelings came over me that I didn't know what to do with them. I wanted to just talk to him until he came on to me. I'm the worst person in the whole world because I let those feelings take over me. I went all the way with him and kept telling myself it's a dream, it's not even reality. It was quite a lot to comprehend at 4 and 5 in the morning. So, back to the beginning of this pathetic story of my life:I am in love with my boyfriend, yet I cheated on him. If I told him what happened, everything would be over. I mean everything and instantly. I love him so much and don't know what came over me. I can't tell him what happened and he is clueless to my recent drama. If I never told him, he would probably never know. But how can I live with myself? I can't forgive myself. I see myself marrying this guy and having my kids! He is the man of my dreams and if we spend the rest of our lives together, when he goes to Heaven, will I be in hell? He will know the truth of our love in Heaven and what I did to his heart finally. How can i LIVE with this? I just feel so empty inside. help!! :([Added from the same user]what do i do when the one person i love more than anything in the entire world has no clue than i cheated on him? he is my baby..my everything...how could i do this????? i cant forgive myself and he would never forgive me if i told him...it would destroy him completely.im so in love with him...everything is great right now..i just made a huge mistakei cant tell him..please give me advice that can stop the painim such a f___ hypocrit...i hate myself. im so in love with him...im going insane..............
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (18 November 2008): Hi,OMG what a terrible position to be in, you have made a mistake and now relise that you are madly in love with your boyfriend and he is madly in love with you, the pain and insanity that you are feeling is GUILT, honesty is the best policy, that way you get out your system once and for all and if he loves you as much as you say then time should bring forgiveness. If only you could have sat down and told him how you felt before you told someone else, then you would not be facing this, cheating is never the answer it only causes even greater pain and a lifetime of bad memories, fear and always wondering if the truth will ever come out. You have to take a chance and tell him the WHOLE truth and ask for forgiveness, if you don't say anything or tell him the whole truth you will live in fear that further down the road something will come out or if you haven't told him everything and something else comes out it will breakdown everything you have built up again. It's funny how we turn to sex as a way to to make us feel better but when it's infidelty no matter how good the sex is at the time it is very quickly ruined and the memories turn sour, I hope this ex doesn't know your boyfriend or mutual friends and uses it to brag about or to hurt your boyfriend, thats why you would be taking a big risk and also the mental strain you are under at the moment by not telling him. I wish you well with this one and I hope you learn by your mistake because it is not only your life you are effecting.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (18 November 2008): Hi There, I really feel for you, you are obviously very upset about what you have done. I know it is difficult but there are only two real options either tell your boyfriend the truth, it will be painfull and you will be taking a risk that your boyfriend will not forgive you but you will feel better about telling him as you will not need to lie anymore although the guilt will still be there. Or you could try and keep it to yourself so it does not damage your relationship. The only thing about keeping it to yourself is the fact that if it ever comes out in future, your boyfriend will feel even more pain because you kept it from him and lied. Are you sure your boyfriend would not forgive you if you explained everthing, if he loves you as much a you love him I think he probably would although it will be very difficult for you both. Another thing I think you should look at is why this happened. I know you acted out of character and you cant believe it happened but things like this usually happen because there is some underlying problem within the relationship. There may be issues you need to discuss with your boyfriend anyway, why did you feel like you didn't matter to him there must be reasons, only a thought.
I think you should first make the decision whether to tell your boyfriend or not and then either way you will have to work on forgiving yourself. We are all human and sometimes we make terrible mistakes. But you have to accept that you have made a mistake and try to move on from that. Try and be kind to yourself, take care. I wish you and your boyfriend well..
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