A
female
age
41-50,
*eacutiepie
writes:Im pregnant,and the father asked me to have an abortion. I considered this, but unable to go through with it. I have told him that I have chosen to follow throught with the pregnancy. He has stated that he would stay by me. But when I bring up the fact we cant be on holiday just before or just after the birth, he just says "well I never wanted it anyway, so why should I be punished for it". This is his excuse everytime the baby changes any part of his life style. I would like to leave him. I dont want to be made to feel guilty for something he stated that he always wanted. How can I leave him?
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, seacutiepie +, writes (28 June 2008):
seacutiepie is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThanks for your responses. although to the anonymous reader up top, he is 40 years old. when we first met, he said he wanted a wife and 2 children. Obviously said that to draw me in, not to slam me down.
I gave him the option to leave, but he did not want to. Said that he loved me. But likes to remind me of this awful choice I made. Like its my fault. I inpregnated my self!
I would like to make a family for this child, and that I had in mind when I made the decision to keep it. Someone needs to take charge of my life. Who better else than me. I think ill see how the next couple of weeks go.
Thankyou to everyone.
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (27 June 2008): Most guys are scared to become parents at that age (22-25). They'll say they want kids "someday" but that always means "in about 3-5 years." Part of him wants you to leave him so won't have to be responsible for the child (he could just blame you for ending the relationship). Yes it's sad but some guys are just like that. But because he is scared right now it'd be better if you judged his character based on the way he was before you were pregnant. If he was a pain, then he may not get better. But if was a nice guy its almost certain that he just needs to get over his fear of being a dad. Once he does that he'll be the guy you want
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A
female
reader, lexilou  +, writes (27 June 2008):
 There are two things that could happen here.
He may get worse and resent the baby when it comes along and you will have a miserable life until one of you decides to do something about it.
Or he could fall head over heels in love with the baby once it arrives, admit what a prick he has been, look after you both and live happily ever after as a family unit.
As I dont have a crystal ball I cant say which it will be but my gut feeling is the first option.
Suggest a break to see how you both feel and tell him that you and baby come as a package and will only accept him back if he finally realises that. Whether it was an untimely accident or planned by you is irrelevant now as it HAS happened and the baby is obviously very important to you.
You may even find that you dont even want him back after the way he has behaved.
I wish you good luck x
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A
female
reader, daniellexxxx +, writes (27 June 2008):
 You need to leave him hunny.. If you dont it will only get worse when the babys is born when your asking him to do little things like change its nappy ect he will react the same. He's selfish and is only thinking of himself he needs to grow up and face the facts tell him this and take him back when he has realised that you and the baby are everything he needs and wants.
Good luck.x
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A
female
reader, Emilysanswers +, writes (27 June 2008):
Get out of this relationship, is he going to hold this over you forever, he he going to tell the kid that he never wanted it?
Relationships that are only there for the sake of the child never tend to work in the long run. He can be a father to the child without being with you.
Next time he says anything about not wanting the child then just tell him, your relationship is not going to work and is not good for you or the child.
Leave and find somewhere of your own so you can prepare for the birth the best way you can. If he chooses to come along then it's up to him.
Good Luck!! xx
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