A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Hi guys. I need some help. Two years ago I had a 2 month, purely sexual relationship with a 30 year old man ( I was 18 at the time). He doesn't know this, but I lost my virginity to him. He is really good looking and has a really cheeky grin, he doesn't have the best body in the world but I really like it. He is down to earth and friendly.Two years on and I have been hanging around with him again in the last few months about once a week. Just having lunch or watching TV. I really want to get to know him properly this time and hopefully have a relationship. Recently he has made some suggestive comments such as "I had a hard on when you were round earlier and wanted you to suck it". But nows he's stopped saying that and seems to be sweeter towards me. He's also quite a busy man with his own business. What can I do or say to tell him how I feel and get some time with him? and hopefully get him to be my boyfriend.
View related questions:
lost my virginity Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (30 June 2012): If he wanted a relationship with you, he would be pursuing you romantically. He instead, has already indicated he is looking for the same arrangement you had for two months two years ago: something purely sexual.
If you want him, you can NOT give in to having any sort of physical relationship with him unless he commits to a relationship with you.
Ask him if he would ever consider being in a committed relationship with you. If he says no, do NOT do anything sexual with him (you will end up used, compromised and heartbroken). If he says yes, or he might consider it discuss both of your expectations for a relationship. Do not do anything sexual immediately after the discussion.
A
male
reader, Presario2010  +, writes (30 June 2012):
This guy is good, girl run away and run fast. I can see a mile away that he is playing you. He doesnt call or text you or visit you, hello he just used you for sex. The way i see it he is just being nice to you to keep you for another round of sex, iam a guy so i know how guys think this is the oldest trick in the book, do a girl, and then be nice to her so she stays and you can screw her again later, one of the guys 101 lol
...............................
A
female
reader, Lalu  +, writes (30 June 2012):
is it just a sexual relationship. or is it even further to live with him. this is the question you have to ask yourself.
Anyways, you can find a place in his heart by showing interests in what he likes. and hopefully you too really like those.
things will work fine.
...............................
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (30 June 2012): "What can I do or say to tell him how I feel and get some time with him?"
Offer to s*ck his c*ck as he so lewdly and crudely suggested.
" . . . and hopefully get him to be my boyfriend."
Not a chance. He was able to get you into bed without offereing you a relationship, you'll never be anything more to him than an easy lay. He'll gladly let you s*ck his c*ck, maybe even stick it in you again, but from his POV that's as far as it will ever go.
Why would you even want a pig like him as a boyfriend? Are your standards really that low and/or are you really that desperate?
...............................
A
female
reader, janniepeg  +, writes (30 June 2012):
 He may not be the good boyfriend for you so first you have to suggest hanging out more outside the bedroom. I am sure at your age you won't settle for just TV and meals. You have to have more common interests. The attraction is there. Find out what connects you emotionally. Reward him when he's being sweet. When he is distant, give him the distance and be more distant yourself until he does more sweet, non sexual favours for you. When he contacts you again welcome him with open arms. He is probably looking at you as a little girl so to match up to his level you need to be able to plan for the future to become financially independent. For a man who is 30 and has closed off emotions for more than two years there must be a reason why. He either was burnt badly before, or he is attached or missing someone else. As you get to know him you decide whether you can accept his personality and his past baggage.
Also, he could be sensing that you will lose interest if he isn't sweet to you because he knows what young women want. You have to watch out he could be faking a relationship to continue having sex with you. A man who is hot and cold is indication that he's emotionally unstable or a committment phobe. There will be others who warn you because you started off as a sex partner it would be hard for a man to want to pay for something that was once free. Still give him the benefit of the doubt so at least you can say to yourself you tried your best and if he can't connect with you emotionally then it is his lost and you can move on without strings attached.
...............................
|
