A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:This weekend was a crazy one.I was still in contact with my ex for like twice a month since we broke up 8 months ago. At first we were treating each other like enemies but later we quit and started being friends.4 months after our break-up he starts to initiate contact with me. I can't resist to reply. But some days I don't and that's when he starts to react by sending me a series of texts wondering why i don't reply. He is always curious about my love life, wanting to know who I am dating.To cut the story short, I was going to be alone for christmas and last wk I texted him to say I am going to be lonely. Then we texted and he ended up asking if I wanted to see him for christmas. The next night, he texted me again to know if he can see me earlier than christmas. After that, his calls came, asking to see me but I just refused him.Then on friday night, I said yes..he could come over to my house. The two weekend nights, he slept over at my place and we had all the sex we wanted. He was all over me, and acted as if he really really missed me and couldn't get his hands off me. Then he talked about us going to a concert and places we will go etc. Then he left coz next day we have work.Now, every other day he comes here to have sex with me but on the nights he doesn't come, I don't hear from him. Once I texted him at dawn and he didn't reply. Next day he replied to say he was sleeping. I didn't reply back, his series pf calls and texts came again as if he is scared why I don't reply. Now, I feel there is something wrong. I know it's wrong that I slept with him as we are just exes. But at that time, I realy felt he still loves me. Now I think he is just after the sex. Am I right?Can someone suggest to me how I can stop this. I still love him but it really turns me off that he is just after the sex. I would rather be alone again then be used like this.It hurts but is there anyway I can save this without being a sex object to him? Does this mean, I am hopeless in this case to turn him to love me again? Christmas eve is in 2 days but now I don't think I will be happy on that day. This is crazy.
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female
reader, caligirl4420 +, writes (22 December 2009):
I was in a somewhat similiar situation a few years ago. I dated a guy for 2 years when he suddenly decided to break it off. It was very difficult. After a few months of very limited contact, we decided to give it another go. He acted the same way as your ex did, and I was very concerned about it. Turns out he was doing the exact same thing to another girl, whom he met right after we broke up. If you think he isn't really into you, ask him what he wants to get out of your relationship. You are an equal partner in the relationship, and have a right to know. If he does want to get back together, then he is probably just working extra hours, it is Christmas time after all! Good luck!
A
female
reader, Emilysanswers  +, writes (22 December 2009):
Call his bluff.
Tell him you can't do this and be used and cut contact with him. Tell him it would really destroy you to continue with a "just sex" thing and you NEED him to leave you alone so you can find someone who loves you.
If he was after sex then he should get the message and disappear. If he was after more then he'll get his act together and come after you.
Be strong and prepare for the worst.
Good Luck!! xx
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