A
female
age
41-50,
*roys_sweetie
writes: Well, I am from America and I traveled to Australia 9 months ago to be with the love of my life. I moved in with him and the first few months were great, constant love and affection, I have never been treated so good. Over the months we have had a some financial problems and i have had some medical issues that we have not had enough money for treatment and the stress from these combined leaves us both very cranky and irritable. we fight all the time and the arguments are getting worse. he gets very verbally abusive and breaks my heart with his words all the time. tells me that he has had enough with this and i should just fly back home. we always make up and he says he doesn't mean it but he insists that i don't respect him enough and that he does everything for me. acts like i never do anything for him when whatever this man asks me to do i try my hardest to do so. i admit i start most of the arguments, but i am really irritable cause i am always sick. he says he still loves me and wants me here but he seems to be loving me less and less. he doesn't seem to care for my feelings anymore and i'm getting really lonely and depressed about it. i dont know how to win his affection back. i do little sweet things for him now and then and i try to cater to him when i am feeling well on my good days. and i always let him know i love him, just like he used to do to me but it seems to be fading. how can i stop this from fading. i dont want him to completely lose love for me. i know that we are meant to be. please aunts, help me. thanks
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female
reader, blueydblond +, writes (5 March 2008):
Sweetie.
Well relationships will leave someone feeling lonely, depressed, irritable, and sad at least one time or another.
He is frustrated with everything. It isn't going according to plan and honestly not to be sexist...affects men easier than women. They lose sense of how to deal when things go wrong.
Honey,I am sure he does love you, but is having a hard time finding that inner peace that was once there between the two of you.
There are probably a mixture of emotions he is dealing with at the moment. He might be scared because of your sickness, and is scared to lose you or be alone for that matter. He probably feels helpless that he isn't able to help you as much as he wants to. And honestly hun, when men can't take care of things in their life and take care of their loved ones, it makes them angry with themselves, and with life in general.
Although, I will say that he is wrong for treating you like you are wrong in all of this.
The best thing I can tell you Love, is evaluate the problem, and talk to him. Let him know that you are scared as much as he is, and as long as you both stick together, you will make it through anything. This is a time in your life when you need him the most, and he needs to know that.
He probably doesn't know how to act about all of this.
I know from experience that people say things they do not mean when they are angry or frustrated. It is our human nature to take things and turn them upside down to make us feel more at ease. Does that make it right? HELL NO it doesn't. But what can you do?
Just be understanding, and try to limit the arguements that you start with him, because your "good time" together could just be that thin lining thread holding the two of you together.
Keep in mind his feelings and best of luck to you darling!
I hope this helps.
XOXOXO
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