A
female
age
30-35,
*ookedoo94
writes:My girlfriend and I have been dating for roughly a year and a half we have broken up once and dated other people but gotten back together. We do love each other. She has cheated on me twice and I have had the feeling of cheating on her but I have not. I believe cheating is the worst thing you can do. She has a really short temper and gets mad at anything. Every time I try To talk to her about it she gets mad. She says she wants to change so we will be better and so we can be together forever. Every time It's 11:11 on the clock she wishes we will stay together forever and always. I love her to bits, and will do anything for her she's my everything but she's been acting in the most outraged moods at Nothing. Part of the reason she might be acting out is because in 2010 she lost her 20 year old brother. He and her was really close as though she does get upset about him, not very often but sometimes, I do comfort her the best I can and it usually works. I want to know How I can help her with her anger problems. She has also been having a problem with showing me affection or attention. We live together and we see each other every minutes of everyday. We are really inseparable and we love it. Although I do think we need some space. But when I went to Virginia for two weeks to visit some family it got worse when we were away from each other we fought and fought. She of course stayed home. Every time I try to kiss her she curls up or moves so I can't. We have talked about this and she said she will change and she has got a little better but not where we should be able to act like a couple. I don't know what to do. I have a hard time trusting her from the past. I love this girl with all my heart and I wish I could make us be better. It breaks my heart we aren't like we used to be in the beginning it was great. Please help me. Btw I am a lesbian if it helps. So obviously my girlfriend and I are girls.
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female
reader, So_Very_Confused +, writes (13 September 2012):
 Is the age right? You are 17? You’ve been together since you were 15?
She’s cheated on you twice already. In a year and half she’s cheated twice. You have forgiven her but don’t trust her… so what do you think will happen when you are apart because she’s going somewhere? Will you trust her to be away from you? Or will you worry and accuse her?
If she says “Every time It's 11:11 on the clock she wishes we will stay together forever and always.” You know that the maturity level is just NOT there to make a long term life commitment. WISHING does not make it so…
You say you love her to bits and she’s your everything and you will do ANYTING for her BUT…. And then you say she’s moody. Well the problem with loving someone to bits and doing ANYTHING for them is that it can’t be listed with a BUT… because with unconditional love there are no buts… it’s unconditional…
What would you do for her? Would you die for her? (that seems to be a theme this week)… Would you kill for her? Would you give up your family forever?
Has she had grief and bereavement counseling over the loss of her brother? Was his death accidental (car accident) or was it an illness such as cancer or a suicide or a drug overdose? HOW and WHY he died will also impact on her… but she needs therapy and counseling to work it through…. You can’t use the death of a beloved person as an excuse to behave badly.
How is it that two teens are living together? Alone? With a parent? Being inseprabale is not healthy nor is it normal.. You went to see family and she OF COURSE stayed home? Why OF COURSE? Why didn’t your PARTNER go with you to see FAMILY?
IF she has anger issues then she needs counseling and therapy… they even have Anger Management programs… its’ beyond what you can help her with she needs a professional.
IF you try to be affectionate and she pushes you away, she’s telling you something that you are NOT listening to.,.
You can’t fix this alone she has to want to fix it too… at 17 this is not the last of your relationships and since you have a rocky past and are asking about it here I am going to say that unless she gets professional help, there is not much hope.
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