A
male
age
36-40,
*ukethegiant
writes:hi,i will really appreciate any unbiased help with this.Me and who is now my ex, met in 2004 in autralia when we were backpacking. in a few weeks we were having a live in relatioship. and we haven't looked back. i moved to canada, here homeland, to stay with her. She later moved to england (my homeland) to stay we me. so for 3 years we have had a live in relatioship. except that last december she went home to see her family and hadn't come back. seeing as we both want to go to uni in september, we had a mutual break up. However, it was awkward as neither of us wanted it, and i had to initiate it. That was saturday, now it is tuesday, and she is on the phone again today crying and telling me how she cannot get over it. She says she is fat and ugly, i know she has a fragile ego, and i still care about her too much to let that shatter. I care about her too much still to just cut her out of my life and the thought of her being so sad weighing my conscience. So; how can i help her? and what can i do to make things better? i keep suggesting she gets another job, to take her mind off things, but this just makes her angry.thanksluke
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female
reader, T_T  +, writes (28 March 2007):
She is probably really hurting right now because she has obviously lost a pretty good relationship. Maybe she feels that your relationship is so good that you two would remain comitted to eachother even though you have to be seperated from eachother. If you really do not want this then it will probably mostly take her time to get over it. i'm not sure if being in constant contact will help or hinder her recovery. I think it is natural for her to still feel upset and it might take her a few weeks to start to feel better. Getting a job is a good idea but you can't push anything on her. As long as she's got friends and family around she will likely be ok givin time. I would talk to her less and less but remain supportive.
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