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age
36-40,
anonymous
writes: Why are relationships so hard?I find myself thinking about relationships and getting all these weird feelings. Now I'm in a relationship and have been dealing with so much insecurity and anxiety from my part. I also see other troubled couples all the time, and I wonder, is really all that there is?Obviously life isn't a fairy tale, but sometimes it seems that relationships are too much of a burden. Sometimes I have crazy thoughts about leaving my boyfriend (even though he's always discussing marriage), because I'm afraid I'll fail and he'll eventually get fed up with me and leave me.I think about how it'd probably always be like this with everyone. I just feel like I'm too insecure to be in any kind of romantic relationship, so I should stay single forever. But then again, I'd like to have a family of my own, and I'd crave intimacy, I'd like to have kids.How can I get over this mindset, these feelings and realize that relationships can be enjoyed more than being a source of anxiety?
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female
reader, Emilysanswers  +, writes (30 July 2008):
This problem is more down to you than down to "relationships" if you have low self esteem then you can often wonder "why is he with me? When is he going to realise he's making a mistake and leave?"
So you really have to boost yourself up and then the faith that his love is real will come, the trust that you are far better than any of the girls he'll meet while out with his mates will come, it will all get better.
Go out and give yourself a bit of a makeover. Get a haircut or buy some new make up and clothes. Also, what are you doing professionally. Is your job something you always dreamed of doing? Are you proud of what you do? If not then aim higher, or start volunteering at an animal shelter so you can come home feeling "I did something amazing today"
You need to boost yourself up.
Yes there are a lot of troubled relationships around, but there are also a lot of really wonderful ones too.
Good Luck!! xx
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