A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:First of all, I would like to begin with a disclaimer that I have absolutely zero intentions of attempting to get close to this man. But somehow, I simply cannot get him out of my mind. Here is the back story: I am studying a very specific trade, where there is a need for frequent one on one student/instructor interaction. After moving, I began at a new school, where I met him. For the purposes of this post, we will call him Brian. Brian was to be my instructor. I immediately felt attracted to him. In fact, I noticed him from across the room before I even knew he was involved in my program. After only a few days, my intense physical desire for him spun right out of control. Mind you, I am a normal, healthy young woman, with a normal, healthy sex drive. Nothing like this had ever happened to me before, and I found it terribly alarming, and somewhat pathetic. It got to the point where I would have to sometimes leave the room to cool off and get him off my mind. I take my studies very seriously, so I was concerned about him distracting me so much. Sorry if this may be a little bit explicit/TMI, but this was my breaking point: I was just watching him work, and of course I began fantasizing about him. Then, out of absolutely nowhere, I experienced a spontaneous orgasm. All just from the sight of him. I managed to pass the episode off as a yawn, but I was absolutely horrified. At that point, I realized I had lost control around him in ways I never imagined possible, and this frightened me enough to realize I could not continue my studies with him. Furthermore, I discovered that he is engaged, so I did the right thing and transferred schools to keep myself away from him. I said it was because I was close friends with some people at the other school, and that was the end of it. Over the past year, I have successfully completed my program, and am now employed in my field of choice. I haven't seen Brian since, and I more or less moved on.Then, one day, it happened. There was a new name on my work schedule. Brian.I panicked at first, but I was quickly comforted by the fact that we are on opposite shifts, and therfore will never see each other in normal operations.But every time I see his name come up, I become anxious about the possibility of seeing him, and how I will react. I have already caught myself fantasizing about him again, and my greatest fear is that seeing him in the flesh could reignite that fire I worked so hard to extinguish.I realize that he is now married, and again, I have no intentions whatsoever to pursue him. But how can I get over such a devastatingly intense physical attraction? Has anyone else ever experienced something so powerful? It is not an option for me to "run away from him" again, and I feel our schedules being synchronized is a ticking time bomb. I am a nervous wreck, what do I do??
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engaged, orgasm, sex drive Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, Gauntlet  +, writes (11 January 2014):
 Don't excuse yourself, and don't feel stupid or anything wrong, you have experienced the touch of primal sex power. That's pure instinct and hormonal.But now, you are able to talk about how primal sex drive can be a dictator on some people, who throw away anything just for an orgasm. Human being becoming back a poor animal, without brain nor soul.That said, as for your problem, take it cool. You have to be fully aware this guy is NOW AND FOREVER out of touch. You don't want to be the TOY of your pulsion, and you have enough MORAL to not want to break a marriage. In order to help you, imagine this guy fucking you and being a bastard afterward, posting sex tapes/pictures of you on the web in as to show how he got "one more chick for free" and things like that. Persuade yourself this guy is somehow a maniac of someone who suffers from the Bipolar Disorder Syndrom, sort of Dr Jeckill and Mr Hide...At first, this exercice well seem useless, stupid or grotesque, but finally it will trash the "sweet (wet) dream" you make about him. And it will be over... if you really want it to be.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (9 January 2014): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThe back of a paperback romance novel?? Hahaha I'm not sure if that's a complement to my writer's voice, or an insult to how pathetic this whole situation really is... But unfortunately, this is 100% real. I find NOTHING about this situation erotic or desirable in the slightest. I guess was mostly venting, since I could not believe that this actually happened to me. It's just ridiculous.
Anyhow, the link to that article was just perfect. Every time I think about him, I will imagine him with a terrible stomach flu! That HAS to help...
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (8 January 2014): Sis, I think this article is going to help a lot. :)
http://www.sheknows.com/love-and-sex/articles/1018599/help-im-attracted-to-a-married-man
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A
female
reader, like I see it  +, writes (8 January 2014):
 I actually think there's a very simple way to look at this.
You aren't working with him yet, and IF your schedule changes, you cross that bridge when you come to it - by acting appropriately.
Your post reads like the intro to a paperback romance novel, to the point that I wondered whether this question was spam, but I'm going to give you the benefit of the doubt, assume that you are really this besotted with a guy you barely know, and answer accordingly.
If you end up working with him, you act professionally and you keep your fantasies to yourself. It really is that simple. Nothing you have posted here indicates that he was also interested in you, or in any way reciprocates your feelings.
There is a widespread misconception about workplace sexual harassment, and it's the assumption that the harasser is always a straight man and the victim is always a straight woman. This is not true. Women can harass men. Men can harass men. Women can harass women. And the consequences are equally dire for everyone regardless of what sex they are.
IF your affections make his work environment awkward and IF he or a third party is bothered enough to report you, you face a slew of potential unpleasantness including but not limited to demotion or termination, destruction of your professional reputation, and legal action from your victim or an offended third party. Is having butterflies for a married man really worth it? Your call, but most people wouldn't think so. Most harassment laws and policies wouldn't find "I was so attracted to him, he gave me spontaneous orgasms" to be an adequate defense. No matter your intentions, if you let your one-sided feelings for this guy invade your workplace it has the potential to come back and bite you in every possible way.
Don't do it.
Good luck as you work through this.
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