A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I've tried submitting this question before but it got rejected because the mods thought I was suicidal. I'm not. Not anymore anyway. But I do need some answers. Preferably a lot of them! Okay, to cut to the chase: I'm afraid of relationships. Like literally afraid. I've fancied plenty of people, but it never led anywhere because I was afraid of what they would think of me once they really got to know me. I know all the talk show hosts would say that I deserve to be loved for who I am. But how can anyone love me when I hate everything about me? I've never had a relationship because of this. It's not just general stuff I worry about, but the stupid little things too. Yet somehow they've become 'important' to me in such a way it prevents me from getting a boyfriend. For example, I'm afraid to kiss guys because of my lack of experience. But in turn that doesn't help me get any experience and keeps the cycle going. I don't like getting intimate because I'm afraid guys won't like the way my body looks even though I work out a lot. I think my behavior stems from the severe bullying I went through in my childhood and teens (10 years in total). Shoving, getting beaten up, getting spat at, people telling me that I was ugly/stupid and shouldn't have been born and that noone will ever love me. The usual stuff. Now I'm 23 and though I'm far from the silent wallflower I used to be, I can't seem to overcome myself. How can I deal with this and finally open my arms and heart for someone? Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (8 December 2010): well first of all the people that bully you are only jealous of you. that is the honest truth. It's the natural human instinct, when they sense you have a stronger character then themselves they will try and take you down. secondly, i think you you should seek some counselling to sort out your self esteem issues. Its nothing serious, just like going to the dentist. I think it would really help if you could open up like this in person to sombody. good luck :)
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