A
male
age
41-50,
*j75
writes:my girlfriend is going on a works night out and because she works out of town and the night is at a hotel i said she should get a room. to which she replied "just imagine all the lads from work would be init" this just burnt my head out. i said if she respected herself and respected me that all the lads from work wouldnt be in her room. now whenever she goes out my stupid mind works overtime. how do i get rid of my paranoid thoughts? Reply to this Question
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male
reader, kenny +, writes (26 May 2008):
 I can see why you are thinking those things, its not very nice thinking of your partner in a room with a load of lads from work, i don't know why she told you that. Really it all boils down to trust at the end of the day, if she loves you she then she won't alow any males back into her room at night. I know its hard but you have got to stop torturing yourself, creating scenarios in your head that probably will never happen. Relationships are about trust, if there is no trust in a relationship then its doomed to fail. So relax and stop thinking these paranoid thoughts before they completely eat you up. Maybe you could ask her to call you when she gets back to her room, just to know she is back safely, just for your piece of mind really.
Good luck
A
female
reader, Isabella1974  +, writes (26 May 2008):
 Hi there,
it sounds like your girlfriend is trying to make you feel insecure, why else would she say something like this.
I dont think it is something she would take up on..as she has said it to you. Have you mentioned to her how you feel after she said this statement. In my experience, the people who usually say things like this are the ones that are totally insecure themselves and want to keep you on your toes and prove to you that other men find her attractive.
I think your girlfriend is insecure and maybe has trust issues herself. I had a boyfriend like this once, he used to do the same to me and it was all down to his own insecurity.
Just let her know that this upset you and is not acceptable. Tell her you trust her enough to go out and enjoy without carrying on.
I am sure it is just talk..but if you find out otherwise and she continues like this, then i think you should consider whether or not you want to be with someone who wants to play games with your head.
Take care
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (26 May 2008): Don't worry I'm sure she just said that as a joke. The fact that you are her boyfriend means that she wants to be with you and not some lad from work. This paranoia just shows that you care for her a lot, and is very normal in a relationship, just try not to let it get a strong grip on you or it'll be difficult to get rid of it!
If it bothers you a lot then try talking to her about it, but don't seem too controlling because she probably wouldn't appreciate that. But a good way to solve problems is simply by talking them over :)
Keep us posted! Good luck !
xx Hope xx
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