How can I get my husband to stand up for me in front of his parents and demand what is his?

A female age 41-50, anonymous writes:

I've been married for four years now. I love my husband to death but things just aint what it should be. The day I went to pick up my wedding dress my mother in law told me that if she could have, she would not allow me and my husband to get married. I thaught that we spoke about her feelings about me, but aparrently not enough. After the wedding she would make the most wonderfull remarks about my bridesmaid's dress and how beautifull and lovely girl she is and never said said anything nice about me. After that things just got worse. She would be angry at me for no reason. She started to lock up all her cuboards, even those in her rooms and hide the keys in her bra. She would do anything for her own daughter and she has turned my sister in law against me as well. She never comes to visit me although we live practicly with each other. If she needs to give me something she would put it in my steps in front of my door. Whenever she comes in and I invite her to come and drink tea, she is always too busy with something. Therefore I always make time once a week to go and visit her but then she also is boo busy to sit down and speak to me or if she do, we don't know what to say to each other. My husband also works for his father on his farm. The funny thing is that he does all the work and they get the money! They never have shortage of anything in their house. They can afford to buy a car cash but we survive just barely. We live in a flat against their house that used to be their garage. They live like queens while we have to live in this small flat and don't have money to build our own home. So last week my little boy drove around the farm with my father in law. Later that morning, they were going to their other farm and wanted to take him with. I asked my mother in law three times if she is sure thy want him to go with and they said yes. So took the opportunity to go and pay my bills as I never have time when my son is with me. My mother in law left me a voicemail saying that I should get home and come and fetch my son as he was a promblem for her to handle. She said that he is not her resposability and that I should come and do my dutys.When I got home I went to fetch my son and we had an argument about this. She never ever looks after my son for me or does anything at all for me. She just says that it is not her responsability to look after my son and that she will never do me any favours. She also said that I only come to visit her when I want something from her which is absolutely not true. When I left there I told her That I won't step foot in her house again and that she won't see me or my son again. Now the thing is that my husband doesn't support me in this or stand up for me at all. He still goes to hes parents as he needs to 'cause he works for them. But then he just takes my son with him. He also don't care that his mother would break me down like that and walk over me like I don't even exist! When I ask him to stand up against his parents he won't say anything at all.

View related questions: money, sister in law, wedding

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (4 February 2009):

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