A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I'm 17 and my 2 closest friends (we aren't really close, but we're closer compared to us and the others) are beginning to take advantage of me. I'm really reliable and sympathetic, so if *X* or *XJ* need anything support wise, I'll do whatever I can to help. X has stopped being so reliant now, but XJ doesn't always take me seriously. I'd rarely want to change anyone, but there are a couple of things I can't stand - he doesn't say it to be rude, but he finds it funny and I sometimes feel offended but he doesn't notice. He always says "you want me to stay on and join the ________ club with you and that's got four years left, you wouldn't be too angry with me" so it's like a "I know you wouldn't just leave me hanging" type thing and he doesn't mean it to be annoying, just like showing off that I'm there for him. However, I want to go about showing/telling him that, whilst I want him to stay and I'd be kinda hurt if he didn't, I could move on from the friendship if it came to it. How do I let him know that; I've told him blatantly and he doesn't take it seriously.
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male
reader, 11muds11  +, writes (22 January 2012):
One note. When you freak out him, make sure you walk away. I'd let him come to you to apologize. But if he doesn't come to you, then go and talk to him or text him in whatever way you feel. But wait at least a day or you'll look weak and he won't take you seriously. Hope this helps.
A
male
reader, 11muds11 +, writes (21 January 2012):
This one's a tough one.
I think you're in the "being treated like one of the guys but as a girl" zone. They're joking around with you like you're one of the boys, but treating you as a soft girl. From what you say, they seem to take you for granted and not seriously because of it.
So if they're treating you like a girl, then use it to your advantage. At a time which you feel safe, or there are other females or nobody around, freak out on him and let him know you're not going to take it anymore. You can go as far as you want as long as you don't emasculate him in front of his male friends.
(It's very important for you not to do it in front of a group of his male friends or they may turn on you and tell him not to be friends with you. If they're not there, they'll laugh at him for being balled out by a girl. If one guy is there that is friends with you, that's a OK too.)
The other way is to cut him off for a while. When he tries to talk to you, tell him you're cutting him off for a week or two until he takes you more seriously. If he continues to text you just say he's cut off for a while till you tell him he's not. (or something like that)
In both of these, he should start to take you more seriously, just by you simply standing up for yourself and letting him know you're not going to take it any more. In a guys mind, it's a great way to make a friend. If he's really a friend, he'll stop and you might end up with a solid relationship. If he's not, he might blow you off, and at least you'll know. I suspect it'll be the former as most guys like their female friends to put them in their place. Good luck.
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