A
female
age
41-50,
*autebugg
writes:My boyfriend and I have been in a reationship for 6 years. He says he was more sure about marrage when we first got together than he is now. Our relationship has had it's natural ups and downs but for the last year or so he makes mountains out of molehills. If I do something wrong that is totally fixable he talks to me like I'm a child. That infuriates me bc I'm supposed to be his equal not beneth him. I also get upset bc I'm 5 years older than him and have tons more life experience than him. I'm also more willing to let little mistakes roll off me and just handle it. Instead of doing the same for me he gets so upset. Let me give you the example from today. Two days ago I painted a shelf with waterbased acrylic paint. I washed my brush in the bathroom sink as he did with his brush a couple days bf that. A shadow of the apricot color was left as a ring around the sink. He said why did you do that? I said bc the garage sink is broken and I had no other sink. He became furious that I shifted the blame to him for the garage sink not being fixed. He accused me of practically painting the sink. "what did you do! Rub the brush on the sink"? I went into the bathroom and swiped it with comet. It came right off. I asked him why he had to chide me and why he could not have just wiped it up with some comet? I have done stuff like that on countless occassions for him. No big deal. He actually told me that if he cleaned the sink for me this time he would have to do it for the rest of his life! As if I haven't accepted the fact that I would have to pick up his socks and underwear for tbd rest of mine. He hurt my feelings. But I understand I should have just said sorry and cleaned the sink instead of bringing up the garage sink that HD hasn't fixed for 8 months. I tried to appologize and now he's giving me the cold shoulder. I just don't really understand this high hoarse he's on. Where is the mutual respect? How should I handle these times?
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reader, anonymous, writes (18 July 2009): I think he's just overreacting. Sit him down and tell you how what he did made you feel. Telling him how it made YOU feel is the best thing to do, because the way you felt is something he can't change or contradict.
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