A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:Hi! I need some friendly advice. I've been married for 5 years to a wonderful man. He is, however, a very shy and private man. He isn't aware of it but I know he looks at porn online. I'm ok with it really. He's discreet about it and I'm not the insecure type anyway. The other day, I was curious and snooped around on his computer and was surprised at what I found.He has a couple of hundred video clips downloaded. All of them depict the man pulling out of the woman and cumming on her body....stomach, breasts, ass. I never knew he was into that. I think it might please him to work that into our sex life. However, he would be angry if he knew I saw his private collection. How can I get him to do that without discussing what I saw? Asking him to do it in the heat of passion after 5 years of not doing so might be too obvious. I also thought about lying and telling him I forgot to take my pill a couple of times and that it might be a good idea to pull out for a while. Anyone have a better suggestion?
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breasts, insecure, porn, sex life, shy Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
reader, anonymous, writes (25 December 2008): First of all let me congratulate you for being understanding about your husbands private intrests and hobbies. Many, many women here on Dear Cupid feel threatened by pornography and usually scream and shout when they find themselves in your position. You my dear are a very kind and understanding wife.
Pornography, desire and fantasy are very private things, and that's why he has kept it hidden. It may not be the case that he actually wants to experience this in real life. Many people watch all types of pornograpy that they would be horrified to bring into the bedroom...
However, what excites him in porn, is safe and harmless enough to bring into the bedroom so you can both share the joy. Men are very proud of their penis and their sperm, a woman who feels comfortable with both is a woman who a man feels accepts him with every piece of her heart and body. The suggestion to practice masturbation with your breast, or oral sex and then masturbation are both good ideas. You can just tell him some bullcrap about needing to be close to him, and wanting to make love to him whilst he lies back and you do all the work..
If he rejects your offer or looks uncomfortable then stop straight away, and try to introduce it another time. You don't even have to be up front. If you think he is shy and may get embarrased, then just wipe his sperm off the penis after sex, rub it into the skin saying "hey babes that feels good". If your guy eats right and gets all the necessary vitimins and nutriments in his diet, then sperm/semen is actually good for the womans skin. You can tell him to give you some, because you read an article that says it will make your skin look younger and you wanted to try it out...
Make it all fun and games, no pressure... If he dosen't want to play, if he feels shy, if he wants to keep his little secret, then unfortunately you will have to accept this and back away. Not everything seen in porn will become a reality. But on his behalf, I would like to thank you for taking the time to get advice on how you can please him best and share his joy in somethiing that turns him on... You are one hell of a lady, I hope he realises the treasure he has in you... Blessings babes, hope all goes well.. merry Christmas to you, your family and your husband.
A
male
reader, Griffo  +, writes (22 December 2008):
 Buy him a porno for chrissy start with soft porn so it looks innocent and then tell him you'd like to try somthing a little different try to stay confident in what your doing and lead him into the fun. Get him to do some of the thing in the porno you saw by playing on curiosity. The good thing about the porno is you can fall back onto it as a little sex joke he might just open up and tell you about his collection.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (22 December 2008): I have an idea that might work for you. Give him a titty job. Take him between your breasts. Just lay him on his back and lay your chest on his lap. Use your hands to tighten up your cleavage. It is a good idea to use some lubericant (scented massage oil works nicely). You can set it up inocently by saying you are sore. Or wait till you are out of business for that time of the month. This is a fun way to introduuce him to messy play and to let him know that it is ok with you. Make sure he knows you like it. Don't jump up and clean up immediately. Let him enjoy the view.
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